With Father’s Day fast approaching, we consider the role fathers play in our lives. I know growing up, I needed my dad around, and yet when he finally was able to have more normal work hours, we had to adjust to having him there. As my own kids grew up, there became definite times when they needed Dad over Mom, especially the boys in their junior high years, but let’s focus on girls and dads.

Mairead’s Longing for a Father

“Momma, who’s my father?”

Siobhan sucked in air as if a bandage had been ripped from a wound. Even after eight synods, the question hurt.

“’Tis a story for another step, Inene.”

The girl’s expressive eyes clouded over. “Ana says he was someone very special. Is that true?”

“Aye, ‘tis true.”

“Then why won’t you tell me?”

With a sigh Siobhan place a finger on Mairead’s nose. “Remember how you ask for a story before going to bed each step?”

Mairead nodded, her dark braids bouncing.

“And remember what ‘twas like when Rydian told you a story that was too scary and you had bad dreams?”

Again, the braids bobbed. “Is the story of my father scary?” Her eyes widened.

“Let’s just say there are aspects of it that you’re not quite ready for at eight synods.”

“When I’m at nine?” Siobhan stood with a smile. “Mayhap.”

Girls and Fathers in School

Last year particularly, I saw the need for fathers in the lives of girl teens. There was one in particular who sought attention–often to her own detriment. As I got to know her, I learned that she didn’t have a good dad in her life. In fact, he’d harmed her when she was younger.

Another girl in the same class didn’t have a good mom, but her relationship with her father was rock solid. This girl still had self-assurance issues, but she was more confident and didn’t need attention like the other.

What Your Daughter Needs

There are several things that daughters need from fathers. Often these are things that their dads do automatically.

Unconditional Love

Daughters from the time they’re born need your love–unconditionally. That means they know that no matter what they do, you’ll be there for them, accepting and loving them.

Is it easy? No. There will be times, especially in their teen years when they’ll not be very lovable. They’ll say things: “You hate me!” “That’s not fair!”

Stand your ground. Show them by your actions that they are still loved.

Time

Time is one of the most precious gifts ever. We only have 24 hours in any given day, and it goes away so quickly. Just think how long ago your daughter was a baby and now she’s in elementary school.

In our world of constant activity, it’s more difficult than ever to spend time with your daughter, but it’s most important. This isn’t time where you’re both staring at your phones. This is real time, learning to understand her and what she likes. It may involve a phone, but have it be hers and she’s showing you things on it.

Listening Ear

Listening is difficult. Well, active listening.

This isn’t the type where you nod and smile while thinking about what you’re going to say. It’s truly pausing and hearing what she’s saying.

Dates

In a world where there is no moral compass, and few examples of healthy relationships, your daughter needs you to step up and teach her. There’s no better way than by your actions.

If you want your daughter to know how a gentleman should treat her, then demonstrate it from early on. Take your daughter on dates. Set the example of the type of person you want her to be around later. She’ll pick up from those cues.

Date Ideas

• her favorite restaurant
• bookstore
• movie
• trip to the park
• sports outing
• garage sale shopping
• shopping
• whatever she likes to do

Dates can be simple, or elaborate. Make them special and have them regularly.

Love Her Mom

The best assurance you can give your children is that the two of you love each other. This is also another way of setting the bar high for that future partner that will come into your daughter’s life.

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Dads play a major roll in the lives of their daughters. So many fathers are missing from modern books–including fantasy. This is very sad, but it also shows the trend in real life. Will you step up and change a generation? Will you provide an example of love to your daughter?