This introduction to anime was perfect for us. The artwork was beautiful, the plot easy to follow, and the eventual ending twenty-five episodes later satisfying. From there, our son suggested other anime shows, and even a movie or two. Then came the time when we made our three youngest children gasp and hold their collective breath when my husband and I said we’d found an anime on our own to watch.

That was seven or eight years ago. The kids have grown accustomed to us spending our evenings watching anime–either with them or without–and recommending shows for them to watch.

What is anime?

Some people think anime is any animated work and is just for kids. They couldn’t be further from the truth! In reality according to the Oxford definition from Google’s dictionary box, anime is “a style of Japanese film and television animation, typically aimed at adults as well as children.” Notice that it’s aimed at adults first. In fact, there is one version of anime that you definitely don’t want your child watching–Hentai. This is explicit pornographic anime.

So, if anime is designed for adults why are young teens so interested in it? Meriam-Webster’s definition adds that it is “characterized by stark colorful graphics depicting vibrant characters in action-filled plots often with fantastic or futuristic themes”. With the art, plot, and intriguing characters, teens are sucked in as well.

The good and the bad

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath. Just because one section of anime is bad, doesn’t mean all of it is bad. That would be like saying because there are horrible movies made, we’ll not watch any movies. In reality, anime is that–a type of movie or TV show that is done with an animated style. There are multiple art styles and character types.

Just from these two images, you can see the vast difference in art style.

The bad

Focusing on the bad first, there are things to be aware of as a parent. Not only is there Hentai, there are themes that can permeate this genre.

• Endings

Anime originated in Japan, and that means there are different worldviews. Some shows have more of an eastern mindset with what my husband calls a ‘terrible’ ending. There isn’t the hope-filled message. As a family, we’ve learned to veer away from those.

• Fan Service

One thing that struck me when we first started watching were the specific ‘camera shots’ that focused on anatomy. I soon learned that it was purposefully done. Some shows have this more than others, but it plays to the fascination with the sexual–low cut shirts, short skirts, etc. This is done to please the audience more than for any plot-driven reasons.

• Character Types

Another thing to be aware of is the cross-dresser. Again, some shows have this more than others–just like watching Netflix has more of a chance you’ll have same-sex couples than other outlets.

There’s also a strange fascination with siblings finding each other attractive. When I’ve seen this, it tends to be they’re not truly related, but still it left a strange taste in my mouth.

The Good

There are many good things in anime as well.

• Culture

From tea to honorifics, from rice balls to taking your shoes off at the door, the Japanese culture shines through in anime.

• Language

There are two ways to watch anime–subbed and dubbed. Subbed is with subtitles while listening to the original Japanese voice actors. Dubbed is with English voice actors. Our kids taught us it’s best subbed. The unique thing about that is I’ve now picked up specific Japanese words, and although, I can’t understand Japanese, I can tell where different words. It’s almost like I should know what they’re saying.

• Stories & Characters

What bookworm doesn’t love to fall into a new world? Anime provides an insatiable amount of new worlds, new stories, and some even enable you to follow your favorite characters for hundreds of adventures! According to Google, the longest anime has over 7,000 episodes! That’s a lot of story and world to explore.

• Genres

I’ll do a separate post on the genres, but there are as many genres as there are in books. From slice of life to mechanized robots, you’ll find it in anime.

Family Time with Anime

We learned early on that the best way to integrate ourselves into our kids’ lives was to do things with them. We’ve played games, watched movies, played video games, and watched anime together. I’d recommend screening anime before watching with young children, although there are specific shows just for them, and watching it together with your teens.

Do some research first, and then dig in. Explain to your child that you might not finish watching a specific show. My son’s favorite anime was nixed within the first ten minutes. He wishes we’d give it another try, but the religious connotations were too strong for us to continue.

Save time to discuss with your children afterward. Don’t set your time to only encompass the twenty or thirty minute show. Add in five or ten minutes to talk about what you saw. You may be surprised at the various discussions it’ll open up. There may even be spiritual aspects, as the authors of Finding God in Anime have seen.

Where to start?

This is always a bit tricky. I’ll have some anime lists in the next several weeks, but a good place to start is with the anime listed in the devotional Finding God in Anime. You can watch the anime and read the devotional that goes with it.

There’ll be more to this series, but for now, this is a good beginning. Let me know what you think, and what anime you started watching with your child. You can leave a message here, or come over to my Discord server and share with me there.

As I thought back on my time with that group of students not just during their recognition ceremony but on their all day field trip the next day, I realized that this special group of kids will bring a lot to the high school.

However, despite their great intelligence, teamwork, and abilities to get along, these kids need more. This need is what every parent longs for. These students need to catch the worldview of their parents.

Today in church, I sat next to my second youngest son as our class discussed the plagues of Egypt. The discussion about the gnats or lice, depending on which translation you use, and the flies led us to discuss why the plagues occurred. They were there so the Egyptians would realize that God is real and the only God. However, they were also there so the Israelites would recognize the power of their God. They were then to pass that on to their children. A question was raised. How well do we pass our faith on to our kids? How do we do it? The class came up with five helpful points.

1. Have your own personal walk with God.

How often have we heard parents say, “Do as I say, not as I do”? This paradox doesn’t work for raising kids to catch their parents worldview. Or maybe it does. The kids latch onto what really is important to the parent. If the parent acts one way on Sunday and lives the rest of the week another way, the kids will pick up on that inconsistency. I remember growing up and seeing my Mom at the kitchen table with her Bible and a cup of coffee. It made an impression on me. Although, it took me a while to get my own time schedule down, I now have a daily time in the Word of God. This time gives me a resource to pass on to my kids. Without having a solid faith, I would have wavered during the month of May when my publisher went out of business and I was left to fend for myself with my books. I wrote about that in my post How to Survive When the Fairytale Turns Dark.

2. Let your child in on the struggles of life.

Way to often parents try to protect their children from the hardships of life. We think the kids are too little to handle knowing we’re struggling making ends meet. When we can be honest with them and share what’s going on and then pray together about it, we can give our kids real experiences to know God and His goodness.

I was in the third grade when I first saw this in action. We had moved from Iowa to Tacoma, Washington. My dad was going to seminary and as with many college students he didn’t have a strong income. He and a fellow student had banded together to create a lawn cleaning service. That all fell apart when on a church roller skating party, Dad bent over to help my friend up. He tripped over her legs and broke his ankle. Now on top of an already tight budget, they had to add an emergency room bill. I remember vividly the day our friends pulled up and opened the back of their station wagon and began unloading grocery bags–not those plastic ones we get now, but real paper bags full of cans, boxes, and packages. We unpacked those sacks with as much joy as if it was Christmas. Then we sat down and thanked God for providing.

Without that memory, years later when I was married and in college and didn’t know what was for dinner–literally had bare cupboards–I wouldn’t have been as ready to trust that something would be provided. When our neighbor showed us a three foot square box that had arrived that day, we questioned where it had come from. But upon opening it, we rejoiced and praised God! It held food for starving college students. It wasn’t until years later, that we realized where the box had come from. All we had to go on was a P. O. Box number. So, at that moment in time, it was God who had provided for our needs.

3. Be honest with your children.

This one is true about a lot of things. Parents think their kids can’t handle the truth, but in reality, it’s the lies children can’t handle. If we lie about one thing, how will they know when we are telling the truth. We need to be honest about what life is like, but also what God is like. This is tough. Say we let our kids in on our struggles and ask them to pray for it. What happens when our prayers are answered with a no? This has the potential to crush our children’s spirits. What about the boy who prays his dad will come home, but no dad ever shows up? That’s when his mom or grandma or grandpa or another wise believer has to come along and explain that not always do we get everything we want or even ask for. God is still good, and He still knows what we need. This is a concept that adults wrestle with. Our kids need to know that we wrestle with our faith, and that God is big enough to handle it.

4. Read the Bible with them.

How will your children have a foundation, if they don’t know what the Bible teaches? There are plenty of kids Bibles and understandable translations out there. It will take just a moment to do a google search and see. A few more minutes of your time and you can do the research to know which one is right for your child.

Other resources are Keys for Kids. This is a devotional book from Children’s Bible Hour. I remember listening to them on the radio when I was five. My kids have enjoyed listening to Down Gilead Lane from Children’s Bible Hour. Another program the kids have listened to over and over is from Focus on the Family. Adventures in Odyssey revolves around a grandpa like character, Mr. Whitaker, who has an ice cream emporium where kids can come and learn about God. Through these free half hour shows, kids learn valuable lessons in what it means to be a believer.

5. Realize that there is a balance between God’s Grace and your child’s free will.

In our class, we heard tales of families where the kids were all raised the same. Now as adults, some of those children are believers and others are going their own way. I’ve seen it in my own family. Kids have a choice to make. However, as parents, we are called into account for our actions in raising them, not for our children’s decisions. This may seem a hard pill to swallow, but it’s true. We have to trust God to bring our kids to Him.

I deal with this underlying theme in the Dragon Courage series. As dragon riders, the parents want their kids to become riders. They have to wait and trust that the best will be done for them and their kids. Of course, they’re just characters that I write, but the parents’ emotions are as real as my own desires for my kids.

Duskya was so still beside him, that he wondered if she was okay. Cerulean looked down to see Duskya holding her face in her hands.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his hands gentle as he lifted her face to look at him.

“I don’t know what to say. I have worried for the last five winters that she would never be chosen by a dragon. Now, to know that she can hear them, it is almost too much.”

Cerulean took her hand. “I know. I see it as a good sign. If she can hear dragons, than she should have a good chance of at least working with them.”

~Dragon’s Heir, p. 24

When it all is said and done, it’s God’s grace that brings us and our kids into a relationship with Him. It may take years for a wayward child to come back, but God has a plan and works His way through our disobedience and our obedience.

What about you? Do you have a wayward child? Do you want prayer? I’ll happily add your loved one to my prayer list.

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Plan a bucket list

I saw this a couple of years ago. A mom of young boys, had a butcher paper poster on her dining room wall. Written in childish scrawl and adult handwriting, was their bucket list. Since I saw it in July, some things had been scratched off, but there were still a ton of things to look forward to.

A bucket list is a wish list. Explain to your littler ones that not everything will be crossed off by the end of the summer, but the goal is to see how many different things you can do.

Examples would include eating lunch outside, going to the pool, taking a bike ride, watching fireworks, etc. Remember to add your normal summer activities. If you go to grandma’s for the Fourth of July, write it on your list. Take in a summer library program. Read books to your kids. Need a list of suggestions? Check out suggested reading material from my posts for Spring Break, February, and Children’s Book Week. The Seed Saver series may give you another activity to add to your bucket list–gardening!

Make a Peace Chart

Once your bucket list is made, you may need a peace chart. The peace chart was introduced to me by my mother-in-law early on in my child rearing years. My kids were arguing and fighting and whining. It wasn’t pretty. My mother-in-law saw an advise article in the Democrat Herald of Albany, Oregon. It suggested what I then created as The Peace Chart. I took a regular piece of paper, placed the title Peace Chart on the top and the verse from Romans 14:19 in my own paraphrase, “Do everything in your power to keep the peace”, at the bottom. In between the title and the verse, I placed a table. Each row represented a day of the week. Each column represented a time when the kids ‘broke’ my peace and I had to intervene. At first they had three warning boxes that would be checked off as they broke the peace. After those first warnings though, came privileges they’d lose, such as no movies, no video games, no more water activities, and eventually no more playing outdoors and go to your room! Rarely did they make it to their rooms.

I did learn to make the privileges things I could handle them losing.

For instance, I left going to their room as the last resort because I knew it would be more a fight for me to follow through with it.

Enjoy the Small Things

One of the things I looked forward to the most about summer with the kids was huckleberry pancakes. We live in a rural area and fresh berries are available by walking out the door and picking them. We’d all traipse outside in the morning and pick the red huckleberries to use in our breakfast pancakes or muffins.

Another enjoyable activity was having the kids help pick center pieces for the table. They didn’t have to be elaborate, just something we found in our adventures that day. If we went to the creek, we’d bring back some river rock and place it around a candle on the table. If we were in the yard and found flowers, we’d pick some for the table. It was a simple thing that brought beauty to the day and gave a conversation starter for the kids to talk with Dad around the evening meal. That seed probably is why we have such great times around our dinner table now with the kids in their twenties and mid teens. Check out more about that in my post, A Lost Art.

So what will you do this summer? What’s on your bucket list? Anything special? Let me know in the comments.

Knowing your child is key to keeping those teen year challenges down to a minimum. The question is how do we do this in an ever increasing busy schedule and world. Our family has discovered several ways to stay connected to our kids as they grew.

Play Games with them

The first came about when our twenty-two-year-old was in middle school. My husband, Eric, and I had attended a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway from Family Life. The speaker told about playing Halo with his teens and their friends. It gave him insights into the kids’ lives. We didn’t want to allow our kids to play that mature of a game, but when our son purchased a PSII system and several games, Eric sat down and learned how to play Final Fantasy XII. The whole family would gather around when the little video clips would come on. To this day, I can distinguish the Estersand from Rabanastre and Alchadia from the Lhusu Mines just by the music. I spent numerous hours quilting, drawing, and just watching as the boys played. The sound of the victory dance is echoing through my mind as I write.

Board games also played a role in our family’s ability to know each other. Scrabble was a way we connected with our younger two sons. Our now eighteen-year-old became adept at using words like qi, za, and other random strange words that are in the Scrabble dictionary. He also grew his vocabulary in the process. The whole family enjoys playing Settlers of Catan, an ever changing monopoly style board game. Many Sunday afternoons and evenings were spent bargaining over trades of wool for wheat or brick for ore.

Watch Movies or Shows Together

From the time the kids were little, we would have family movie nights. Often pillow fights erupted as the credits rolled. As the kids got older, we let them choose the movies and watched with them. Hayao Miyazaki became a favorite in the house. At first we weren’t too sure about ones like Spirited Away or Princes Mononoke, but when we actually sat down and watched them, we found a lot of things to discuss with the kids. Castle in the Sky and Howl’s Moving Castle are among my favorite movies.

A year and a half ago, our now nineteen-year-old returned from a year of Rotary Youth Exchange in Finland. She brought back with her a love for anime. She hooked our eighteen-year-old on the genre and our fourteen-year-old. One night last year, our eighteen-year-old asked us to watch some with him. That began our introduction to anime. We’ve enjoyed watching Sword Art Online (SAO), Angel Beats, Anohana, and began watching Rwby. All of these are excellent stories with good discussion points for teens. I would not watch these with younger children. There are some sexual connotations in the beginning episodes of Angel Beats and Anohana, and SAO has violence in it. I’ve found knowing these things has given me the ability to speak with my children’s friends and my students as well.

Read Books Together

This is something parents do with their little ones because it develops reading readiness. We rarely think to read to our teens. However, I’ve enjoyed reading to our family after dinner. When our daughter was away in Finland, we wrote a letter to her in the style of Pendragon writing to Mark and Courtney. It was fun to try to think of ways to tell her news about home in the words of the flumes and territories. This worked because we had been reading the books when she left. Trying to find the right kinds of books to read for the age group will be the issue. Listen to what your kids say. Some of the best books I’ve read have been the ones my kids have said, “Mom, you’ve got to read this.” The Inkheart series would be good for teens and pre-teens, as well as the Dragonback series. You can also explore my pick of books from Children’s Book Week in 2015. Besides reading out loud to your kids, you can choose audio books. These offer a good resource for long car rides.

Have Family Time

Our kids’ love for anime turned into a love for Japan. So, when our friends who are missionaries in Japan came for a visit to the area, we contacted them about having a meal with us. The evening became a highlight of the kids’ year. Our youngest invited three of his friends who love Japan and anime to join us. Our friends brought fun souvenirs, a game of “what are these things?”, and tops for the kids. We learned some Japanese words, and the kids sat around the table talking with adults. Yes, middle school students mingled with adults and a nineteen-year-old for a whole evening.

So, as you consider your own kids, think of what things you can do to stay connected to them. Maybe you’ll find books that they enjoy and read them, or you’ll watch anime or some TV show of their choosing. Whatever you do, unplug from the electronic world long enough to do something together. Learn who your kids are and who their friends are. You’ll be glad you did.

Money was tight. We didn’t know how we were going to make ends meet. After discussing it with my husband, Eric, who didn’t have a full-time job, we decided to at least look into the opportunity. The interview was a two-way street. Eric and I interviewed them, and they interviewed us. The school consisted of a multipurpose room for both cafeteria and gymnasium, a large open downstairs that housed the library, two classrooms (one for the Kindergarten through second grade, and the other the third through sixth or seventh grade), and an office. They needed someone to teach the older students. nine full-time students and one home school student who came in for the afternoon classes. Would I do it?

Seeing no job opportunities in the future for Eric, I agreed. We borrowed my father-in-law’s twenty-four foot travel trailer and moved it down to the school. A mom of one of the students exchanged tuition fees for babysitting my kids during the day. Recess and lunch breaks, I exchanged students for my children. I was able to continue breastfeeding my baby, and spend a little bit of time each day with the kids. Shortly after I accepted the position, Eric was given a temporary job, and then another, and another.

By December, my one month had stretched into three, and Eric was not around for the kids. He was planning on going on the shearing circuit that winter to Eastern Oregon and Washington. I gave my notice and said I needed to be with my family. We had exchanged the twenty-four foot travel trailer for eleven more feet in a thirty-five foot fifth wheel. With many mixed feelings I said goodbye to those students, several of whom I had taught how to read even though they were old enough to be in seventh grade. I had stuck out the extra months out of devotion to them. The students gave me going away gifts. The one I remember most was a bottle of Caress liquid soap, the white peach and orange blossom style.

The shearing circuit is an interesting culture. Each day we were up by 7:00 to fix breakfast in the small kitchen of the fifth wheel. By 7:45, Eric was out the door. I had time to clean up breakfast, then have a little calendar time with our now four year old and almost two year old. Then I spent the morning playing with the kids, reading books to them, and anything else to keep them busy. By noon, I had to have lunch on the table for when Eric walked in the door. At 12:30, he’d lay down for a short nap before heading back out to shear until 5:00. This routine would repeat itself until the sheep were shorn on that ranch. Then it was time to pack up the house, hook it up to the F150, and I’d follow along with at least two kids in the minivan. I memorized the back of the cream fifth wheel, the way the brown weave curtains swayed over the bumps, the idiosyncrasy of the lights, and the license plate.

Some jobs were longer than others. Some only lasted two days, while others were a full week or two. Since this was Eastern Oregon and Washington in January and February, it was snowy and cold. A fifth wheel is not designed for extreme weather. Many times, we added towels and blankets to the walls covering the windows to keep the heat in.

By February, we moved to a ranch in Washington. Up until this time, the most showers were in the small shower with an equally tiny hot water heater. Time to myself was during nap time while I tried to be quiet on my bed while the others slept in the living room on their beds. So, when we arrived at this ranch and heard they had a shower for workers, it was a godsend–unlimited hot water in a grown-up shower.

So, one late afternoon, when all the workers were still busy with the sheep, I bundled up the kids, one in a car seat, and the other two in their warm jackets, and headed to the bathroom in the barn. I was greeted by warm, moist air. A large open area much like a locker room complete with a wooden bench sat in front of the shower area. I settled the kids on the bench and the baby in the car seat on the ground. I gave them their toys to play with and moved to the shower. What luxury to relax for just a bit, somewhat kid free, and feel like a lady. The smell of that Caress soap blended with the humidity of the air. To this day, it is my favorite soap, and when I smell it, I am transported back to those days.

It is hard to realize that it was eighteen years ago. Those little ones are no longer little. They have grown up; the youngest two are in college now. So, what advice do I glean from this story? I say to take your time and enjoy your little ones. The time speeds by all to soon. Secondly, take time for yourself. Create moments where you are not just mom. Have a hobby that you can do in those few quiet moments when the kids sleep; create a job that you can do from home and gives you access to the outside world. I found I could read, crochet, write, quilt, cross-stitch, and many more things in those nap times. I learned to be content in the moment. I created art around me–whether in a dinner placed on the table, a table decoration gathered with the kids, or creating an inviting place for Eric to come home to. If you are in those never ending years of toddlers, take a deep breath, relax, and carve out a moment to yourself. Even the littlest time can refresh your soul and give you the strength to carry one.

Christmas in our fifth wheel before heading out on the circuit

Today, my eighteen year old received his acceptance papers to a one year Bible College five hours away. He will be leaving the first of October. I was excited for him, but then realized that my little boy was growing up.

My nineteen year old has decided to go to the local community college. She will stay at home for the first term. Even though she is at home, between a night job and classes, we won’t see her much. Again, I am glad for her, but sad that my little girl is growing up. Tonight she realized that our youngest will be in high school next year.

Where has the time gone? Wasn’t it just a year ago that they were the ‘twins’, the one only 17 months old feeding the one month old? It goes by in a blink of an eye.

With this realization, the other happening today weighs heavy on my heart. One of my uncles passed away. I barely knew him because of where we lived, but I remember my cousin with fondness. She lost her mom, my aunt, just a few months ago and now her dad. This leaves my dad and his younger brothers as the patriarchs in the family. The realization that Dad is the oldest of his family now is sobering. I know too soon life will cycle through. I don’t want to think that way, but watching my kids grow up makes me realize that in time I will be the grandma. It will be my job to hold the family reunions and keep us together just as my grandma did before me.

Tonight, I can curl up and cry, but tomorrow I will be the strong mom ready to face the future with my kids. I’ll be prepared to encourage and cheer them on. I’ll brag about their college plans and be proud of what they have done. For this is what a mom does. She takes life, cries, laughs, and beams with joy.

What is it about a graduation that inspires so much emotions? There is the feeling of freedom, excitement, and relief that the students feel. Whereas parents are full of a mix of sadness, pride, and reflection. The fact that everyone can relate makes a graduation ceremony a special time. Young students look forward to the moment when they can toss their cap and be free of school. The graduates themselves are in the midst of the event, and parents and family members remember their own graduation.

Graduates look forward with trepidation and excitement to the new road set before them. They are like the traveler mentioned by Robert Frost in The Road Not Taken:

My first graduate on Saturday, May 30.