But there are other dragons in our lives. One in particular controls our time. If we’re not careful, it’ll commandeer our minutes and hours until we wonder what we did with our day!

This dragon loves to use camouflage. It disguises itself as social media, games, books, and even family. Do you see how this is a tricky dragon? It poses as good things!  

Even while writing this, the dragon attacked, and I discovered lost time in the void of social media.

To slay this dragon–yes, this is one that must die; there’s no saving it–you must be super conscientious about your choices. Don’t go on auto-pilot. Instead, be intentional in all you do. 

It may also help to remember the jar, rocks, and sand illustration from last week. 

May you be successful in fighting the dragon of time.

Sound familiar? 

What if I told you there’s a way to not be exhausted and berating yourself?

Time has a way of controlling us, but we need to control it. Easier said than done; I know. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt.

Object Lesson

One of the ways we explain to kids about time is with a jar, various sized rocks, and sand. The teacher’s already made sure that all of it can fit in the jar. Then the instructor tells the kids to put it all in the jar. 

Inevitably the students can’t get it all in. They start with the sand and then work their way up. After the time’s up, the teacher explains by doing.

We empty the jar out again. Then we pick up the largest rock and set it in the jar, then the next largest, working our way down to being able to pour in the sand and allow it to fill in the gaps.

We then explain that the jar is our day or the 24 hours given to us. The rocks and sand are the things we could do with our day. By starting with what’s important, and then filling in with the least important, we can actually be content at the end of the day.

In Real Life

This played itself out last week. I normally schedule my blogs and newsletters over the weekend, using my freer time to write, but as I’d mentioned before, my youngest son got married last weekend. And I forgot about a writing publicly altogether until Tuesday (when my newsletter usually goes out).

I placed my biggest rock in the jar–family, wedding, extended family–and let the other things fill in–school, writing, getting Bonded Crowns ready for the Kickstarter. Although the email to you didn’t get written, I wasn’t stressed out about it.

What About You?

As you go about your busy week, think of your priorities. Schedule those in first, and then fill in with the non-essentials. Each week that might change. Like this week–I’m back to writing you.

Let the stress ebb away as you intentionally focus on what’s important.

Our middle son loved water. Every time he saw it, he’d say “pu-ddle”, separating the word so that it sounded like two, and then he’d run toward the puddle! We’d have to drag him away.

Little Miss is no different. She loves puddles as well. In fact, in her daily walks with Papa Eck’ick, she knows where the puddles are and, if she has her boots on, she’s allowed to splash through them.

When summer came around, she disappointedly looked up at Papa and said, “Puddle gone.”

During Realm Makers this year, Allen Arnold taught on the seven-headed story beast. Seven creatures that will distract us in our walk. One of those was the siren. The siren looks beautiful and tries to woo us away from our walk, but what caught my attention was that sometimes what the siren uses can be good.

With his class, he gave us stickers and tattoos to remind us of the creature. The photo above is about two weeks after Realm Makers. I’d put the siren on my wrist to remind me to keep God first even above the shiny ‘pu-ddles’, but now as it’s even more degraded, it’s a reminder that something that can be good–see what it was like when I first received it? (the dragon is the example, and we’ll discuss him in another post)–can turn toxic if it’s placed above God. 

What are your ‘pu-ddles’ that distract you from your walk?

One of the things that happened, especially early on, was they’d barely get out the door, and she’d say, “Up!”

Papa Eck’ick would shake his head and reply, “It’s a walk–not a carry.”

As I think of life as a walk, there are times where I’m like Little Miss. I don’t think I can keep going. I ask ‘Up!’ and am told, “It’s a walk–not a carry.”

This week, as you walk through life, remember, sometimes you’re stronger than you think you are. Keep trudging along. Soon you’ll arrive at the coffee shop where you can get a hot chocolate, or at the market where friends will give you hugs.

Mairead’s Longing for a Father

“Momma, who’s my father?”

Siobhan sucked in air as if a bandage had been ripped from a wound. Even after eight synods, the question hurt.

“’Tis a story for another step, Inene.”

The girl’s expressive eyes clouded over. “Ana says he was someone very special. Is that true?”

“Aye, ‘tis true.”

“Then why won’t you tell me?”

With a sigh Siobhan place a finger on Mairead’s nose. “Remember how you ask for a story before going to bed each step?”

Mairead nodded, her dark braids bouncing.

“And remember what ‘twas like when Rydian told you a story that was too scary and you had bad dreams?”

Again, the braids bobbed. “Is the story of my father scary?” Her eyes widened.

“Let’s just say there are aspects of it that you’re not quite ready for at eight synods.”

“When I’m at nine?” Siobhan stood with a smile. “Mayhap.”

Girls and Fathers in School

Last year particularly, I saw the need for fathers in the lives of girl teens. There was one in particular who sought attention–often to her own detriment. As I got to know her, I learned that she didn’t have a good dad in her life. In fact, he’d harmed her when she was younger.

Another girl in the same class didn’t have a good mom, but her relationship with her father was rock solid. This girl still had self-assurance issues, but she was more confident and didn’t need attention like the other.

What Your Daughter Needs

There are several things that daughters need from fathers. Often these are things that their dads do automatically.

Unconditional Love

Daughters from the time they’re born need your love–unconditionally. That means they know that no matter what they do, you’ll be there for them, accepting and loving them.

Is it easy? No. There will be times, especially in their teen years when they’ll not be very lovable. They’ll say things: “You hate me!” “That’s not fair!”

Stand your ground. Show them by your actions that they are still loved.

Time

Time is one of the most precious gifts ever. We only have 24 hours in any given day, and it goes away so quickly. Just think how long ago your daughter was a baby and now she’s in elementary school.

In our world of constant activity, it’s more difficult than ever to spend time with your daughter, but it’s most important. This isn’t time where you’re both staring at your phones. This is real time, learning to understand her and what she likes. It may involve a phone, but have it be hers and she’s showing you things on it.

Listening Ear

Listening is difficult. Well, active listening.

This isn’t the type where you nod and smile while thinking about what you’re going to say. It’s truly pausing and hearing what she’s saying.

Dates

In a world where there is no moral compass, and few examples of healthy relationships, your daughter needs you to step up and teach her. There’s no better way than by your actions.

If you want your daughter to know how a gentleman should treat her, then demonstrate it from early on. Take your daughter on dates. Set the example of the type of person you want her to be around later. She’ll pick up from those cues.

Date Ideas

• her favorite restaurant
• bookstore
• movie
• trip to the park
• sports outing
• garage sale shopping
• shopping
• whatever she likes to do

Dates can be simple, or elaborate. Make them special and have them regularly.

Love Her Mom

The best assurance you can give your children is that the two of you love each other. This is also another way of setting the bar high for that future partner that will come into your daughter’s life.

Dads play a major roll in the lives of their daughters. So many fathers are missing from modern books–including fantasy. This is very sad, but it also shows the trend in real life. Will you step up and change a generation? Will you provide an example of love to your daughter?

So how do you enjoy the holiday season while grieving? I’m walking through this year’s Christmas season reading my own notes and reminding myself how to do this. I did the count, and as of Friday, December 9^th, I’ve had to say good-bye to 16 people since February, 2020! Some were close acquaintances, some long-time friends, and others family. That’s a lot of grief! I hope that what I’ve learned will help you.

Remove the mask that everything is fine

Often, we run around purchasing gifts, attending the parties, and we play into the lie that all’s well when it isn’t. Take off the mask. Okay, be a bit choosy about who you’ll share with, but don’t always answer, “Fine” when it’s not.

I’ve taken to saying, “I’m here,” or “Yeah,” which doesn’t really answer how are you. With other closer friends, I shake my head and say, “Not well.” It’s been freeing, and I’ve received a lot of hugs.

It’s okay not to be okay

After removing the mask, now you have people looking at you like you’re raining on their parade. Here on the Southern Oregon Coast, we have a Christmas light parade the second weekend in December. This is the Oregon Coast where instead of snow we get wind and rain! There’s a reason I created a character who was afraid of the wind. Yet, we have a parade in the middle of winter when it’s more likely than not to have rain.

So, acknowledge it’s okay not to be okay. Earlier this month, during a student meeting, I had a student admit she was struggling with suicide and self-harm. At the time, my youngest had just moved out to his first apartment on his own, and I’d been shocked with the death of two friends and an acquaintance, and was trying to deal with my dad’s health issues. After the meeting, I gave the student a hug and told her that it’s okay not to be okay. Together we cried.

It’s amazing the freedom this gives you.

Recognize the big ball and the button

This concept was given to me by a parent. She said that grief is like a ball in a box inside you. Inside the box is a button. When the loss is brand-new, the ball is huge. It doesn’t take much to jostle it around and bump the button. When it hits the button, it hurts like crazy! As time progresses and you deal with your grief, the ball shrinks. It still bumps against the button with painful results, but not as frequently.

What I’ve learned is that the ball of grief can fluctuate in size as more losses build. For instance, as I’ve dealt with the grief from 2021, I thought I was fine, but then in November, I experienced another three losses and a fourth in December. The ball just got bigger again.

Understanding this concept helps you to give yourself grace. Accepting that you may cry, and it’s okay to.

Cherish the memories

As you walk through this time, cherish the memories you made. Christmas often is bittersweet for me because my grandpa would sing “Oh, Holy Night” every year. He’s not been here for the past 22 years to sing it. Each year, at some point in time, I’ll cry when I hear the song.

Memories are what keep the person alive. What better time than Christmas and the holiday season to remember your loved one and the special memories you made with them.

Find a friend

The best way to go through this is with someone who understands. It may only be one person that you talk with each day, or it may be multiple people that you connect with through different places. For instance, one person at work, one at home, and maybe another at church.

Grief is a process

As you deal with the ball in the box, realize that it’s a process. Not everyone will go through it the same. My husband has only cried a few times since his dad passed away in June, where I’ve cried multiple times. Instead, my husband thinks he’s dealing with the grief with physical symptoms.

You’ll go through cycles, and not every cycle will make sense. That’s okay. Adjust to the new normal on a day-to-day basis.

Make new traditions

Lastly, try to find new traditions for this time of the year. Things that you can do with family or on your own. I’m considering gingerbread designs. I’m not sure if it’ll work or if I’ll have the energy for it, but the more the idea persists, the more I’m encouraged to try it.

What’s a tradition you can create? There are all kinds of special recipes out there. Maybe ornament making would be up your aisle. My mom would create an ornament to commemorate the year. Maybe it’d be watching a special movie. Whatever you decide, make it yours.

As you walk through this holiday season, may you be able to be real and true. May you feel comfort and be able to heal.

Humility

This is the obvious one. We don’t want our kids to boast about their accomplishments, yet at the same time, it’s okay to be excited and eager to share the news. To be humble is to be free of pride or arrogance according to Merriam-Webster.

So, the real question is how to teach that? Maybe the best thing is to figure out what pride or arrogance is. The best definition of pride is inordinate self-esteem, again from Merriam-Webster, and arrogance is an attitude of superiority usually manifested by being overbearing.

These are definitely qualities we don’t want our children to have, especially that last. It’s okay to be proud of accomplishments, but to do so without being arrogant.

The next suggests are ways to help keep pride in check.

Acknowledge the source of Blessings

When blessings come our way, we can either say, “Look what I did!” or we can say, “Look what has been handed to me.”

I’m personally going through this right now. Blessed released over two weeks ago. It’s been Amazon’s #1 New Release in at least one category all but one day since it released. I’ve never had a book do this well. I could jump up and down (and I did a little of that) and say, “Wow, I did everything right with this book.” But I know that’s not the case. I’ve done everything right with other books, and they’ve not hit this big. Instead, I’m looking to God and praising Him for blessing me and allowing me to bless others.

Our kids need to be able to realize that blessings come from above.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

[Jas 1:17 ESV]

This is key to not having an overbearing attitude.

Enjoy the moment

Often in trying to keep bad qualities from exhibiting in our kids, we don’t allow them to celebrate. When the Creator created the universe, he took a day to celebrate and relax. To enjoy His work. The Sabbath was created with this in mind.

Allow your child to celebrate their achievements. Take them out for ice cream. Have a party. Watch a favorite movie together as a family. Have a family fun night. Whatever you decide on, make it something your child enjoys.

Acknowledge others

One big thing for our kids to learn is that they’re not the center of the universe. When blessings come our way, it’s good to be able to acknowledge that there are others around. If your child made the team, it’s possible someone else didn’t. If they got the A on their test, their best friend may have gotten a C or even failed.

Teach your child to reach out in grace and sympathy to those who don’t have blessings and mourn with them. This is key to not losing a friend. By allowing their friend space, they can show that they still care.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

[Rom 12:15 ESV]

Know blessings are fleeting

Blessings come and go. They’ll be here one moment and gone the next. This is difficult for adults, let alone kids. Teach kids to treasure the blessing while it’s here, but not to hold onto it so tightly that they can’t allow it to pass.

Keep a journal

Journaling your blessings can help when the hard times come. After they’re gone, we easily forget them and begin to complain. Kids especially have a hard time with this. Ever heard, “It’ll never happen to me?” or “Everyone else gets to.”

Provide a journal for your child to record their blessings. It could be as simple as a mini-composition notebook or as elaborate as a leather-bound journal. Then when trials and difficulties come, look back and help them count their blessings.

This habit can not only help with accepting blessings but can even provide better mental health. Right now, that’s something kids need more than ever.

I’m not saying these steps will guarantee your child isn’t arrogant, but they will help train them in the right way. It will help them not be like Hest.

A Bad Example from Hest

Oakwin shook his head as he led his horse to the front of the soldiers’ barracks.

“What?” Hest asked.

“Oh, just how you can be completely blind to your influence on people.”

Hest wanted to ask what his friend meant, but he was starting to feel dumb with all the questions. Oakwin must have sensed it for he answered anyway.

“You go to help the bayheah and come away with a horse for the cannonsea as well. All of that with Clancy not batting an eye.” He shook his head again. “I’m glad you’re my friend. I’d hate to see what it’d be like with you as my enemy.”

“Well, I certainly couldn’t harm you with a sword.”

Hest laughed trying to brush Oakwin’s comments aside. He wasn’t anything special, but a niggling thought or presence in the back of his mind made him wonder.

No, I’m not special. He tried to quiet the voice but to no avail.

You are the first human in over three hundred synods to have befriended an arclukesure, Usheen reminded him.

“Hest, are you going to mount?”

He blinked and discovered he stood before Beskallare. Only his ingrained training kept him from slamming his weight down into the saddle—it wouldn’t be fair to take out his frustration and embarrassment on his horse that way. Instead, the moment he was seated, he turned Beskallare and urged him into a run.

“Hey!”

He heard Oakwin’s cry, but ignored it. Maybe if he let Beskallare run, he could get away from the feeling that something, or someone, had taken control of his life. It was as if the moment Sydur handed Malene those coins, he’d lost all sense of agency, of free will, of choice. The wind brought tears to his eyes, but he only pushed his horse even faster. The ground flew past him in a blur, the only sound the pounding of Beskallare’s hooves as they smacked the earth.

It’s Okay

Yep, take a deep breath. Whether you’ve done this day in and day out for years or it’s like summer’s been thrust on you without the sunny and warm days, we’ll get through this. That’s what moms do. We may have a melt down moment, but we gather our wits and do what it takes to get through. This is no different. Think of what you do in the summer. Need some helpful hints? Here’s some ideas I posted back in 2016.

Two kinds of people

Realize that there are two kinds of people out there–introverts and extroverts. Introverts will take a quarantine situation better than extroverts, but they’re going to need some help as well. Introverts are going to need their time. They’re the type who need space to themselves, quiet and relaxed. With the influx of people at home, they’ll need that time even more so. Extroverts on the other hand are going to be driven crazy because they can’t go and do things! As mom you’ll need to help both of these.

To make things even more difficult, there are two kinds of moms–extroverts and introverts! Yep, you have to figure out which one you are and give yourself some care as well.

Have some Music

Music can set the tone for your day. What are you listening to? I know my kids’ moods based on what music is blaring at the time. Author Annie Douglass Lima polled her personal facebook friends for encouraging songs during dark times. She then put the suggestions together in a youtube playlist. Check it out.

Another friend shared this song by Josh Baldwin, and it led to a wonderful youtube selection of hope-filled songs.

Educational Resources

There are many resources out there, and right now, many companies are offering things free of service.

• Harper-Collins has a list of resources available.
• NASA has offered some STEM activities for kids. The list includes coloring sheets, activities, games, building projects, and overall fun.
• Kids Activity Blog has a list of all the places offering free subscriptions during this time.
• Remember, it’s not only the kids who need educational opportunities. Here’s a list of universities offering free online classes. This could be good for high school students as well as moms.
• Adobe is also giving free subscriptions to their cloud-based resources such as photoshop and illustrator. There are a ton of online tutorials that can keep kids busy as well. They may need a school email to sign up, but I’m not positive, since I didn’t check it out personally.

Virtual Field Trips

Since all field trips have been cancelled, here are some you can take while online.

• Jelly Belly factory has a a short virtual tour. I think it used to be more, but I couldn’t find it. The about the company is part of the tour when you go visit live.
• The Palace of Versailles has a virtual tour featured in Vogue.
• Paris museums have offered thousands of digital high-resolution images of their artwork.
• If you’re stuck in snow and need some hope for spring, Holland’s tulip fields are in bloom and shared on My Modern Met.

The Arts

I’ve seen some posts from friends who have shared they’re helping their kids with some fun alternatives during this stay-at-home time. One is using Duolingo to learn Japanese with her kids. She posted a win that one boy yelled at his brother in Japanese! Another friend was trying to help her daughter learn how to calligraphy.

Drawing options

Mo Willems is teaching kids via youtube each afternoon. Parents then post their kids’ drawings and tag him in the posts! There are some pretty talented kids out there.

This google doc has an amazing list of museums, contests, games, and art you can do at home. There are multiple links to check out.

I know growing up, I loved dogs and trying to draw them. I had a pretty good Snoopy dog I could draw. Here’s a lesson on drawing dogs using simple shapes.

You can also check out the tutorial I did showing you how I transfer images and then kids can ‘color’ them in using pencils.

Theater Options

As you may have seen, my family loves the theater. My youngest is planning on majoring in theater arts when he graduates this year from high school. (Yes, he will graduate, we just don’t know details at this time. Sorry, class of 2020.) We’ve enjoyed Broadway’s The Lion King when it came to Oregon, as well as many Shakespeare plays at the Ashland Shakespeare Festival. So, these options are intriguing.

BroadwayHD offers plays for a monthly premium, but they’re allowing for a seven-day free trial. You can find out details on Unilad. Playbill has another list of 15 Broadway plays you can check out available on everything from youtube to amazon prime.

Reading and Listening

Reading is always a good option. I’ve given several lists of good books for all ages in my last post. Author H. L. Burke is still hosting a facebook event of free books and has expanded to include free coloring sheets. Like Anne Stokes’ dragon one. I’ve started it on my ibisPaint X app.

You can also have astronauts read to your kids via youtube. Another mom I know suggested videoing you reading your books to your kids and then exchanging with other moms so your kids get different books. We had a friend record herself reading my son’s favorite books and even added in “ding-ding turn the page”. It allowed him to hear her voice and read-along even though he was only four.

Growing up, we’d come inside early on Saturday nights to listen to Unshackled, a radio drama from Chicago Union Mission, followed by Children’s Bible Hour. It was fun when my kids were little to share with them radio shows on Saturday mornings. Besides Children’s Bible Hour’s Down Gilead Lane, they loved Adventures in Odyssey. During this time, Focus on the Family is offering a four-week free trial of Adventures in Odyssey.

Final Thoughts

Stay sane, keep your cool, and relax. This too shall pass, even if it drags longer than expected. The saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy,” holds true. Your perspective will make a difference in your home-life. If you need one more resource, here’s one that’s a pinterest board with recipes, activities, and other helpful ideas to help you keep your sanity.

Do you have other ideas or resources? Feel free to add them to the comments.

So, how do you say thanks to the person who has devoted so much of her life to you? Really it’s easy. It helps though if you know what love language speaks. Language? Yep, there are five of them:

1. Acts of Service
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Physical Touch
4. Quality Time
5. Receiving Gifts

If you don’t know which is yours, or your mom’s you can take the test. Usually a person has one or two that are dominant. However, it’s possible to have all of them as well. The language can change over the years. I used to crave physical touch–a hug, a handshake, a pat on the back–but now acts of service go a long way.

How can you show love for each of these languages? Let’s explore each one separately.

1. Acts of Service

Since this is my predominant love language, I can speak to it easily. If your mom’s language is acts of service, then she’s looking for you to fold laundry, wash dishes, sweep the floor, or clean the bathroom. Yep, it’s that simple. Do something for her that she would normally have to do, and you’ll make her day.

The folding laundry has always been our downfall. Around eighteen years ago, we had just purchased our first home and were trying to make it ours. My husband put together a little corner couch to read on. However, our four-year-old daughter looked quizzically at the contraption. “Why do we need two couches?” Before anyone could reply, she answered her own question. “Oh, one to sit on and one for laundry!” Yep, please come fold laundry for me.

2. Words of Affirmation

Growing up, my dad worked the swing shift and then went off to school for 7:00 am classes. I didn’t get to see him often, but before going to bed each night, I’d pull out a spiral-bound notebook and sit at his desk and write to him about my day. For years, he kept those journals, because to him, written words mean a lot.

If your mom speaks this love language, then a card is the perfect gift for her. Now, make sure you have your own words added to it. Better yet, make it from scratch and give it to her. She’ll cherish it for years to come. I still have a card my daughter made me for Mother’s Day six years ago.

3. Physical Touch

You would think this would be an easy language to speak, but in reality it can be very difficult for some people.  There are some cultures that do not express love in this way. I’m not talking about sexual touch. This is the gentle pat on the back, hug, or holding of a hand to say “I’m here for you, and I love you.”

Hugs are also good for you physcially. According to mindbodygreen.com:

There is a saying by Virginia Satir, a respected family therapist, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.”

4. Quality Time

Early on, I knew my oldest son’s love language. From the time he was just a few weeks old, he’d cry if he wasn’t in the same room as me. He was fine as long as I was in the room, but the moment I tried to leave, he’d fuss. As he grew, he wanted us to do things with him, watch a movie, play a game, spend time.

If your mom speaks quality time, then you’ll want to take her some place and do something with her. Maybe a picnic in the park, a walk along the shore, a horseback ride, a bike ride, or a trip to the mall. All of these are ideas of quality time.

This afternoon I was able to sit and chat with my mom and dad. My husband sat on the swing with Mom and we discussed our future. It’s a moment in time I’ll cherish.

5. Receiving Gifts

This is the love language most people think of for Mother’s Day–get Mom a gift. However, for those whose love language is gift giving, this is valid. My youngest son speaks gifts. I didn’t realize that his asking, “Did you get something for me?” Was really saying, “Did you think of me while you were gone?” It dawned on me that this was so, after he returned from Washington, D. C. with a handpicked, thoughtful gift for each and everyone of the family.

What kind of gift does Mom want? Hm, that depends on your mom. For me, it’d be something with essential oils, a book, or art supplies. Another great gift would be an updated Microsoft Word. Now, that’s just me. You’ll need to know your mom to make the gift meaningful.

So what are you sending to your mom? Is your mom no longer around? Find a lady who has spoken into your life and honor her. There’s always someone who you can find to shower with love. Don’t let your sorrow ruin the day. Use it to fill someone else’s day with love, and you’ll be surprised how much better the day will go for you as well.

Father’s in Classic Young Adult Fiction

The Phantom Tollbooth has Miles escaping through a tollbooth to travel another land while his parents know nothing of his adventures. Little Women have an absent father in the war as does the Chronicles of Narnia. These stories show children in action, but not with parents. They do have guiding characters who help the young people on their way.

Father’s in Modern Young Adult Fiction

Absent Fathers

Modern fiction isn’t much better. In D. J. MacHale’s Pendragon series, Bobby’s trying to find his parents while Mark and Courtney’s parents are present but not active. Brandon Mull’s Beyonders series isn’t much better. Jason’s parents don’t understand or know about the other world he falls into. Both of these authors do have characters who help mold and shape our young heroes. Bobby has his Uncle Press, and Jason has the Blind King. Jace and Clary in the Mortal Instruments don’t have fathers to assist them on their way.

Present Fathers

Some of my favorite young adult books have good fathers. This year I introduced a class of sixth and seventh graders to Mildred D. Taylor’s Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry. My students loved reading the story and even some non-readers wanted to learn more about the Logan family. What struck me the most was the powerful father-figure the children had in Papa. He worked hard and held them to strict respect and obedience and yet at the same time he loved them unconditionally.

In Cornelia Funke’s books parents have a good role. The Inkheart trilogy introduces Mo and Meggie, a father and daughter duo who can read characters and items out of storybooks into the real world. Even with a father around watching over her, Meggie still manages to have interesting adventures. In The Dragon Rider Ben doesn’t have a father, but he meets Professor Greenblum who is a father and acts as a father-figure to Ben, while in The Thief Lord the children are searching for parents.

The Redwall series is another strong set of books with role models for young readers. Mariel and Joseph the Bellmaker are just one set of father and child pairs that play an important part in the plot. Peter and the Starcatchers shows Molly Aster and her father working together to save the world, while Peter ends up mixed up in the whole mess.

Father’s in Indie Young Adult Fiction

Indie authors seem to have more involved fathers. The first indie authored book I heard of was the Inheritance Trilogy. Eragon’s fatherhood created a driving plot, but the book also showcased other successful fathers with Garrow and Roran and Ajihad and Nasuada. In the Godsland series, Catrin and Wendel Volker have a strong relationship, and Catrin’s love for her father drives her to return from her mission. The first trilogy also shows several good relationships between the young characters and older male characters.

If those two larger names aren’t enough to show you how indie authors showcase fathers, let’s look at two other series. L. R. W. Lee’s Andy Smithson series has Andy’s parents as a key to his whole adventure. Andy doesn’t have his parents right with him for most of his journey, but he has others who are like parents supporting him as well. Lea Doue tells the story of twelve princesses and their coming of age. With the advances of an unwanted suitor, the oldest inadvertantly entangles her sisters in a wizard’s web. It is with the help of their father they are rescued.

The teen years are the ones where parents and children conflict the most. Mark Twain said when a boy turns twelve to put him in a barrel with a knot hole, but when he turns sixteen block the hole. Parents with teens can laugh at this and yet relate. However, I say, if you can build a relationship with your child between seven to twelve years old, you can salvage many of the potholes of the teen years. Give your child books to read with good parents as role models. and you’ll be able to give them a hunger for good relationships with you.