1. Be Flexible

Yep, that was our biggest advantage. My daughter had ideas and yet was willing to allow something to slide. As parents, we didn’t hold tightly to our own desires, other than that her dad walked her down the aisle and they danced together.

Father/Daughter dance captured by Jessica Lillie Photography.

2. Share Responsibilities

The next day after the decision was made, my husband, daughter, and I sat down with her future in-laws and did some planning. When we came away from that meeting, we each had a list of responsibilities that would be ours: from who was doing the meal to who was doing flowers.

3. Work with the In-Laws

Working with the in-laws enabled us to get a lot done. There were no traditional roles involved; instead we worked to make the bride and groom happy.

4. Hobby Lobby

Two days after announcing they were going to get married, my daughter, her future mother-in-law, sister-in-law, neice-in-law, and I drove to Hobby Lobby. What amazing memories came from that trip. Walking into Hobby Lobby I had the impression we’d focus on what we’d need and be done and gone. I soon realized that was unrealistic expectations. Instead, we traveled down each aisle and dropped in what would work. To my wonderful suprise the vast majority of the decorations, reception supplies, candles, and even the flower girl dress material were all on sale at 50% off!

5. Keep an Organizer

My poor little Blackberry cellphone took a beating when I discovered how to use the notepad. My phone kept me sane while my daughter used a spiral bound notebook. Without an organizational device we would not have been able to do near as much in so little time and still come out saying it was fun to do.

6. Keep it Simple

With a short time to prepare and do things, my daughter realized she couldn’t have elaborate plans. She used her in-law’s orchard and house with simple decorations such as bottles, lavender stalks, lace, tule, and wood rounds. Instead of trying to have everything, she looked at what had to happen.

7. Listen to the Bride

When in doubt listen to what the bride wants. Get the big picture. Without that, I wouldn’t have been able to smile on the day of when my daughter came out to see the reception area and I asked a question. Her response was, “La-la-la-la-la, not listening. That’s not my job now.” At that point in time, I’d spent two and a half weeks with her knowing what she wanted. I was able to say, “I know what she wants,” and went with it.

Several times I had to sit back and let my daughter figure things out. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be here. I allowed her to have her time and to plan what she wanted.

8.  Enjoy Each Moment

From the bridal shower coinciding with decorating to watching my daughter’s sister-in-law realize her brother was getting married each moment was one to treasure. Watching the flower girls enjoy their dresses as they tried them on with my daughter there taking pictures helped the reality of the situation to sink in–my daughter was getting married! I will always remember the day before as we folded little boxes and filled them with candies and bubbles (only to forget them in the house the day of because we didn’t want the chocolates to melt).

9. Know How to Destress

This is good for yourself as mother of the bride, but also for your family members as well. As tension mounted, I needed to know how to care for myself and my family. The morning of my niece handed me a bottle of StressAway, an essential oil blend. I inhaled the vanilla and lime scent and relaxed as well.

10. Boost Your Immune System

With added stress, your body will be prone to any bug floating around. My daughter came down with a cold during those two and a half weeks. The day of the wedding she coughed and had sniffles.

11. Clear Your Schedule

Flower girl dresses I sewed.

Especially the last several days. With sewing two flower girl dresses and lace sleeves for my daughter’s dress, I was glad I had nothing else I needed to worry about. I could focus completely on the wedding without having to worry about anything else. If the groom would have come home on leave during the school year, the wedding wouldn’t have happened as easily. I would have needed to head my own advice of numbers 9 and 10 beyond anything I did for the wedding.

12. Don’t Neglect Others in the Family

A very wise mother of five once told me to not focus on one child over the other. In the middle of the wedding preparations, our youngest son had already planned going to a medieval event so he could compete in fencing tournaments. Between juggling sewing, we took several days to go spend time with and for him. We modified what we would have normally done, but it was a family decision.

Youngest son all in black except the white rabbit skinned mask.

13. Find Moments to Relax

Saturday evening we learned of the wedding. Sunday we made tentative plans, and Monday my two younger boys and I went out on the ocean all day. Yep, I put wedding on hold and enjoyed time alone. Another fun relaxing moment was just before the wedding. While others made some trips to pick up plywood for a dance floor, I collapsed on the in-laws’ couch and read a bit of a book lying around.

14. Prioritize Your To-Do List

Decide what has to be done versus what you want to have done. Then put those to-dos in order of priority. This will help you to not become overwhelmed.

They found their rings locally. (Image by Jessica Lillie Photography)

15. Music

Music creates memories in and of itself as I shared on my Facebook page earlier this week. While I sewed I listened to music. My husband was the one who made the connection that during our own wedding preparations twenty-five years ago, I had listened to Enya. Enya was one of the Amazon Prime stations I listened to while sewing.

16. Block Out the Last Four Days

We couldn’t have pulled off the wedding if the last four days hadn’t been devoted solely to the wedding. Monday we worked on decorations and had a bridal shower. Tuesday found us finishing out a dance floor. While Wednesday was devoted to the wedding itself and beginning tear down. Thursday morning my husband and a friend cleaned up the orchard where the wedding was. By noon the day after the wedding, everything in the orchard was back to normal.

17. Expect the Aftermath

With rushed wedding plans, there isn’t the time to come to grips with the fact that a family member is getting married. The emotional state of a wedding of a child is big anyway, let alone with everything squeezed together. Realize siblings will need to adjust as well. My daughter and her next younger brother have always been close. The night of the wedding, we took our new son-in-law aside so our daughter could chat with her brother.

Also realize your house will be a mess! We came home to leftover root beer from the root beer floats, while decorations sat in a chair for weeks waiting for our daughter to figure out where to put them before she moves to Germany to join her husband. Her dress hung over a rocking chair because there wasn’t another place to put it.

18. Utilize Your Friends

Family helped create a backdrop for the dance floor.

I didn’t say use your friends, but do make use of the relationships you’ve fostered over the years. My daughter had a dress because it was given to her by a friend eight years ago. The dance floor came together because our neighbor is a farm supply store with pallets, another friend had plywood we could borrow, and a third friend has horses and supplied the hay to go around the edge. The photographer, although hired, was a friend of my daughter, and the DJ was a family friend of the groom. When all was said and done, my daughter had a thank you list of people who helped make the day possible.

When it’s all said and done relax, enjoy, and have fun. It’s a wedding, a time of joy and celebration. A friend whose daughter got married a week and a half before my daughter told my husband she’d willingly trade our short notice to their year and a half engagement. The stress of a wedding can be overwhelming, but when pushed into two and a half weeks, you get that stress all done and over with. Enjoy. If you have questions, feel free to ask. Any suggestions for future brides? Add them to the comments.

Basic Ingredients for a Fairy Tale

There are six main ingredients to create a fairy tale or high fantasy. In order to write a fairy tale, you’ll need to know these six ingredients and use them. When I created my fairy tale, I went through these six items and the story began to tell itself.

6 main traits of a fairy tale or fantasy. #amwriting #amwritingfantasy #teacher

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Magic

The first item is magic. Magic will explain all the things that go against the normal world’s laws. Things such as a person flying, a cloak causing the heroine to disappear, or bringing someone back from the dead are all acceptable in fairy tales because magic allows these to happen. Although it is the key, it is so well known and accepted, there’s not much to say.

Other Worlds

Fairy tales take place in worlds that aren’t necessarily the everyday world. To create my world for the fairy tale, I used Hannah Heath’s blog on fantasy lands other than forests. I wrote each one down and then rolled a twenty-sided die. I gave an Irish castle for the main setting and then rolled salt flats and mesas and buttes. Other settings may include forests, castles, gardens, pirate ship, England, bogs, and canyons.

Good vs Evil

This is another motif that almost goes without saying. In fairy tales, the protagonist is the hero or heroine and is always good. She may or may not do everything right, but for the most part wants to do what is right. Think Snow White. The antagonist is always evil. Not just mean and bad, but evil. Think Sauron.

Heroism

In all fairy tales, there is a hero. The hero goes on a journey, either in reality or figuratively. When the journey begins, a call to adventure forces the hero to leave her comfort zone. Then she passes through several trials, while a protective companion helps her. Between the trials and her experiences she grows up and matures before returning home. The Lord of the Rings illustrates this beautifully.

Bilbo gives Frodo the ring which is his  call to adventure. As he leaves the comfort of the Shire, he endures multiple trials from orcs, to Ents, to the council. Gandalf and Aragorn are his protective companions as well as Samwise–can’t forget about Samwise Gamgee. Throughout the journey, Frodo grew and matured until he understood Bilbo. Finally, he returned to the Shire and was ready to finish Bilbo’s writings.

This hero’s round is the basis for the plot in both fantasy and fairy tales. It’s an easy way to create a story line. However, I found I couldn’t create a plot before having characters.

Special Character Types

Fairy tales and fantasy usually have some type of special race that isn’t human. Things like unicorns, dragons (don’t forget the dragons!), pegasus, dwarves, elves, fairies, goblins, centaurs, and griffins all these fit into fairy tales.

For my story, I wrote all these out on a piece of paper and gave them numbers. Then I did a random drawing for my guardian and for the antagonist.

Fantasy Objects

Finally, fairy tales have some sort of magical or fantasical object that enables the hero or heroine to accomplish his or her goals. Harry Potter had his wand, the sorting hat, the sword, and of course there was Hermione’s purse that was bigger on the inside than the out. Sleeping Beauty had a spindle while Hansel and Gretle had the house made of sugar.

Again, I created a list of objects: wand, sword, cloak, shoes, cauldron, spyglass, staff, mirror, shield and pouch. I then randomly chose two of them. By now, I had a plot, characters and this just helped line out what was going to happen.

A fairy tale beginning

Once upon a time in a land where kings ruled with ironed fists from castles overlooking their lands there lived a young princess who loved her home. Whenever she wandered out into the market with her mother, she returned thankful for the home she had. She never wanted to be one of the lowly peasant girls she noticed carrying water from the well or caring for younger siblings. Instead, she was content where she was and with who she was, except for one small thing.

Her father believed all rules applied equally to everyone, whether they were high or lowly born. This irked her to no end. How could the same rules fit both classes? She couldn’t figure it out.

“Princess Steren, your father wishes to see you.” The guard bowed low.

Steren ran her fingers through her strawberry-blonde hair to make sure it was in place, then gathered her needlepoint together and stood.

“Thank you, Lykos.” She waited for the guard to move, but he didn’t. “Is there more?”

“Yes, your highness.” Lykos averted his eyes from her golden-yellow ones. “He says I must escort you.”

Steren felt like rolling her eyes, but her training kept her from showing her emotions. “Very well. Lead the way.”

Lykos led her down several hallways, past the main hall, and through two large sitting areas. A frown crossed Steren’s brow.

After two more turns, Steren moved closer to the guard. “Lykos, where are we going?”

“To your father.”

With a resigned sigh, she stepped back and continued to follow Lykos. After several more twists and turns, he stopped at a small door. Steren had never noticed this one. Yet with the size of the castle, there were many doors she had not seen. Lykos knocked twice, waited and knocked twice more. The door swung open and a curly head peeked out. The head nodded, and the door inched open enough for Lykos to enter. He motioned instead for Steren. She shrugged and slid through to a dimly lit room.

A meeting with Father

A candle flickering at the desk shown on a parchment. A man sat pouring over the pieces, a reddish light highlighting his brown hair. The curly headed guard cleared his throat, and the man sitting at the desk looked up. Shock ran through Steren as she realized the man was her father. She had never seen him alone and in such casual attire.

A smile lit up King Weland’s face upon seeing her. “Steren, thank you for coming. Lykos, thank you for bringing her.”

Lykos bowed. “It was a pleasure, my lord.”

“You are free to go. I will see to her from here on out. Orestes you are also free to leave.”

“My lord, I cannot leave you unattended.” Curly hair fell into the guard’s eyes, and he pushed it away.

“Then wait outside until I call you.”

The two guards bowed and left, leaving Steren alone with her father. Thoughts swirled around in her head. She wondered what the commotion was all about. Why the secrecy?

King Weland sat back and smiled at her. “I see the curiosity in your eyes, Steren. Has it been that long since I called you to my study?”

Steren shrugged, but didn’t say a word. The king let out a soft sigh and stood, his hand still on the parchment. His other hand motioned to his daughter.

“Come see.”

Steren moved forward, letting her feet take her where she needed to go. Despite her reluctance to let her father know, her curiosity soon got the better of her. She leaned over an ancient map. Faded ink marked the castle and lands around it. Further out, blots indicated the mesas of Boyne. Beyond that even fainter ink indicated Bergh— The rest of the name faded away.

She pointed to the spot. “What’s this father?”

He gazed into her eyes, his face as serious as she had ever seen it. “That, my dear child, is the land of the Bergholden, a race of elves that have turned away from the realm and gone their own way.”

“Why have I never heard of them before?” She leaned in trying to make out the writing but the glow of the candle did not reveal it.

Her father’s hand rested on her shoulder causing her to look into his serious dark eyes. “My dear, the Bergholden have existed in our world for ages. They wander into Cashel from time to time but the guards escort them back across the boundary.”

A wrinkle marred Steren’s face. “If Cashel is a free land and open to all, why would your guards send the Bergholden away?”

“Cashel is free to her own citizens and those who agree to abide by the law of the land, Steren. The Bergholden rose up against my great-great-grandfather. They refused to obey the laws that enable us to have peace. Therefore, they were pushed out of Cashel.”

“One act has banned them all?” Steren’s voice rose. “That’s not fair, Father!”

She turned away from the desk, her dress swishing, and her father’s hand fell back to the desk. He caressed the map.

“It may seem that way to you, daughter, but I have seen how they still refuse to listen to reason. I cannot have them in Cashel stirring up the citizens to rebel against the laws that are for their own good.”

“And how is it for the good of all, if one people group cannot even come into the realm?” Steren stood with her hands on her hips, a very unlady-like stance.

King Weland shook his head, his feet apart like hers, but his hands held in front of him. “Steren listen to reason. The laws protect the people. When the Bergholden enter the realm, they seek out young people who are dissatisfied with life. The Bergholden prey on our young people’s dissatisfaction and tell them lies to lure them away.” He shifted, and before Steren could speak again, continued. “That is not why I brought you here. I have something else for you.”

A special gift

He walked with ease across the room away from the light of the candle. At the wall, his hand found what it was seeking, and a door slid outward toward him. Steren felt her mouth drop open. She knew of secret passages in the castle and often used them herself, but that a small room she had never noticed had need of a secret surprised her.

Her father stepped into the entry, but then returned for the candle. He motioned for her to follow. The candle lit a stone hallway and stairs leading down. King Weland took the stairs confidently. Steren followed a little less assuredly.

Before long, the stairs ended, opening onto another room much like the one up above. A small desk sat in one corner, while a large wardrobe filled another. Her father walked to the wardrobe and opened the wooden door. He handed the candle to Steren. She stood taking in the greens, reds, and browns that reflected back at her. Glimpses of lace, satin, and furs met her gaze, but her father passed all of them and moved to the back of the wardrobe. He pulled out a long black cloak lined with a brownish fur along the hood. The way it draped indicated its warmth and weight; yet her father carried it as if it was made of silk. A smile played along his lips, and his eyes softened in the candle light.

“Princess Steren.” He paused until she met his gaze. “I present to you, the right of your birth. As Princess of Cashel, you have the keeping of the vault. From your mother’s family’s jewels to the cloak of Branwen, the treasures are now your responsibility to keep safe. Only people of noble birth or whom you can trust absolutely shall know of these items. There are people who would use them for their own good and not for the good of the people.”

He stepped behind her and dropped the cloak across her shoulders. Then he returned to the front and secured the clasp. “The cloak of Branwen is now yours. You may wear it at all ceremonial events. It will distinguish you as princess. However, you must also be aware, that any time you raise the hood, you will blend into your surroundings so none may see you.” He chuckled. “Your grandmother found that useful when any young suitor other than grandfather came around.”

Steren ran her fingers over the soft material. “My grandmother owned this?”

“It was her pride and joy. She didn’t have a daughter of her own to pass it on to. So, I am able to pass it on to my daughter.” He watched as she softly pulled the hood up over her head.

Steren looked out from the brim of the fur. Warmth filled her, but she barely could tell the cloak sat on her shoulders. From the look her father gave her, she knew he had spoken truth. His eyes squinted trying to find her. With a smile, she moved toward the door. Her father’s eyes stayed fixed where she had been.

“Steren, remember, you can’t just walk off. You are a princess with responsibilities.”

Steren sighed and removed the hood. Her father turned toward the sound of her sigh and smiled.

“I know you don’t like those responsibilities, but one day you will be queen of Cashel. You will have the whole kingdom to think of, and with your fifteenth birthday, you have passed into a new position. You will follow your mother around and learn from her and me over the next few years. Then you will be ready to transition into queen when the time is right.” Her father stopped in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I am so very proud of you, Steren. You will be a wonderful queen.”

To Steren’s surprise tears formed around his eyes. Impulsively, she hugged him, and for a brief moment she was a little girl without cares.

“Now, let’s go back upstairs. Even princesses have to learn the laws of the land and why they are there.” He started up, but paused with one foot on the stair. He turned to face her. “Steren, be wise about when you use the cloak’s ability, and never use it in the castle.” When she didn’t respond, he pressed for an answer. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir.”

Resentment built up in her. Couldn’t he have kept the rules out of it? Why did he always have to list the rules and regulations?

Back upstairs, her father set the candle on the desk, drawing Steren’s eyes back to the map. She wondered about the Bergholden. Could they be as awful as her father said? Doubt crept into her mind. If her father had made as much of an emphasis on her not wearing the hood in the castle, which was hardly an offense if her grandmother did it, as he had the Bergholden, could the elves really be all that bad? Her reasoning told her they couldn’t.

Do you want to know how the story ends? So do I. Feel free to share your own story ideas as well. Sign up to receive the rest of the fairy tale. I may send it out in segments as I write it.

Suntea

Summer memories are filled with suntea. Mom would use a glass gallon jar, fill it with water, and add tea bags. Then it sat on the porch in the sun for an hour or two until it was just the right shade of brown. Then we’d add sugar and lemon. Even to this day, as soon as the weather turns warm and sunny, I pull out a clear container add water and tea bags and set it in the sun.

Kandi’s Suntea

1 gallon cold water in a glass container
3 Stash Chocolate Hazelnut tea bags
1 Stash Peppermint tea bag

Sit in sun until dark brown. Then serve sweetened or not with ice.

It was a warm spring day with a hint of summer heat. The morning started with the heat of the bright sun beating down on the girls’ backs as they flew into Boeskay to do their market shopping for the day. Later that afternoon, the heat had intensified. The girls relaxed with some of Duskya’s iced tea out in the yard under the shade of an oak.

“Serena,” Carryn said, “what do you want to do after you’re promoted?”

“I don’t know.”

“I know what I want to do,” Carryn announced. “I want to stay right here and help Ma and Da. I might even try to help Da with the hatchlings. He is so good with the little dragons.”
From Dragon’s Cure, book 4 of the Dragon Courage series by Kandi J Wyatt

Tea Parties

In April of my freshman year, our family moved. For the first time since third grade, my mom didn’t have to work to keep the kids in private school because there was no private school to attend. So, each day after school, we were met with a tea party. Grandma’s tea cups and saucers and Mom’s fancy dishes held tea with some snack to go with it. My sister and I would sit with Mom and chat about our day. These tea parties set the tone for the purpose of a cup of tea.

I remember a time after being married and having kids that I returned to visit a friend who was more my parents’ age than mine. She met me at the door with a welcome greeting, led me to the dining room table covered with a nice tablecloth, and set the water on to boil. We sat and chatted over a cup of tea. Later, my kids had tea parties as well. Sometimes it was with play dishes and other times with the china. One summer, I made sure to have a tea breakfast every morning using the good dishes.

Tea parties are a great way to connect with your child or a friend.

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A little hand pulled on her own. “Come on, Grandma,” Glen said. “Mere told me to get you. Will you give us tea and tell us a story?”

She bent down to his level and tickled his tummy. “You want a story?”

He laughed, unable to talk, but Mere had rounded the corner and answered, “Yeah, Grandma. Tell us a story! One ’bout riders and dragons.”

Duskya looked them both in the eyes. “Have I ever told you about the rider who didn’t want to be a rider?”

“No!” they both said in unison, their eyes wide in amazement.

“Well, come have some tea, and I’ll tell you.”
From Dragon’s Cure, book 4 of the Dragon Courage series by Kandi J Wyatt

Leaf tea

When I lived in Ecuador, I distinctly remember a season where I came down with a cold. The locals came bearing gifts and advice to get rid of the cold. One of the gifts was a twig. “Heat this in water until it boils, and drink the broth.” I smiled and nodded, but there was no way I was going to drink a branch! It wasn’t until at least five years later when I was pregnant with my youngest that I learned about making my own tea.

Tea from the yard

My midwife introduced me to plantain. I had come down with a cold; so she led me out to my yard and found the weed. She picked a leaf or two, brought it back inside and created a tisane, all the while explaining that Plantain, what I had always thought of as a fun weed to pick the seeds off, actually is a natural antihystamine. When brewed with lemon and honey it sooths the throat.

Differences in Teas

About that same time, a tea shop came to town. It became my second to youngest’s favorite hangout. Unlike my grandpa, he despises coffee but loves tea. So, we’d often go for a cup of tea and sometimes a scone. We learned how to store black tea, and how to brew tea leaves. We, also, learned the difference between black and green teas and tisanes. (Black tea is made with fermented leaves, while green tea is made from non-fermented. Tisanes are anything other than the tea leaf camellia steeped in hot water.) We also discovered that green tea and tisanes are made with almost boiling water, while black tea must be boiling. Knowing what I know now, I’d love to return to Ecuador and take the manzanilla branch that was offered to me so long ago and make homemade chamomile tea!

“If I can have some hot water, I’ll make tea,” Kyn said.

“I will go get it,” Ben’hyamene offered. “I will, also, see how many rumors we will have to put out.”

“Thanks, Ben’hyamene.”

Kyn reached out to Deverall’s thoughts and found them completely tangled. Healing this man’s mind would be like having to unravel the knots that had formed when he braided dragon leads as a youngling. It was going to take work. Kyn wondered how much time he would need.

Ben’hyamene returned with a kettle of water. “You owe me, ray’a,” he said as he entered. “The isha of the house is very curious. Not only did I have to spin a tale about our sick and slightly intoxicated brother, I had to promise to bring her some of your tea. It had better work as well as you indicated.”

Kyn looked at him. “What do you mean? I never indicated how well it works.”

Ben’hyamene stared at him. “I could have sworn you told me. So, I told her. She will take a cup.”

“Okay. I should have enough for everyone.”
From Dragon’s Revenge, book 3 of the Dragon Courage series by Kandi J Wyatt