So, how do you say thanks to the person who has devoted so much of her life to you? Really it’s easy. It helps though if you know what love language speaks. Language? Yep, there are five of them:

1. Acts of Service
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Physical Touch
4. Quality Time
5. Receiving Gifts

If you don’t know which is yours, or your mom’s you can take the test. Usually a person has one or two that are dominant. However, it’s possible to have all of them as well. The language can change over the years. I used to crave physical touch–a hug, a handshake, a pat on the back–but now acts of service go a long way.

How can you show love for each of these languages? Let’s explore each one separately.

1. Acts of Service

Since this is my predominant love language, I can speak to it easily. If your mom’s language is acts of service, then she’s looking for you to fold laundry, wash dishes, sweep the floor, or clean the bathroom. Yep, it’s that simple. Do something for her that she would normally have to do, and you’ll make her day.

The folding laundry has always been our downfall. Around eighteen years ago, we had just purchased our first home and were trying to make it ours. My husband put together a little corner couch to read on. However, our four-year-old daughter looked quizzically at the contraption. “Why do we need two couches?” Before anyone could reply, she answered her own question. “Oh, one to sit on and one for laundry!” Yep, please come fold laundry for me.

2. Words of Affirmation

Growing up, my dad worked the swing shift and then went off to school for 7:00 am classes. I didn’t get to see him often, but before going to bed each night, I’d pull out a spiral-bound notebook and sit at his desk and write to him about my day. For years, he kept those journals, because to him, written words mean a lot.

If your mom speaks this love language, then a card is the perfect gift for her. Now, make sure you have your own words added to it. Better yet, make it from scratch and give it to her. She’ll cherish it for years to come. I still have a card my daughter made me for Mother’s Day six years ago.

3. Physical Touch

You would think this would be an easy language to speak, but in reality it can be very difficult for some people.  There are some cultures that do not express love in this way. I’m not talking about sexual touch. This is the gentle pat on the back, hug, or holding of a hand to say “I’m here for you, and I love you.”

Hugs are also good for you physcially. According to mindbodygreen.com:

There is a saying by Virginia Satir, a respected family therapist, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.”

4. Quality Time

Early on, I knew my oldest son’s love language. From the time he was just a few weeks old, he’d cry if he wasn’t in the same room as me. He was fine as long as I was in the room, but the moment I tried to leave, he’d fuss. As he grew, he wanted us to do things with him, watch a movie, play a game, spend time.

If your mom speaks quality time, then you’ll want to take her some place and do something with her. Maybe a picnic in the park, a walk along the shore, a horseback ride, a bike ride, or a trip to the mall. All of these are ideas of quality time.

This afternoon I was able to sit and chat with my mom and dad. My husband sat on the swing with Mom and we discussed our future. It’s a moment in time I’ll cherish.

5. Receiving Gifts

This is the love language most people think of for Mother’s Day–get Mom a gift. However, for those whose love language is gift giving, this is valid. My youngest son speaks gifts. I didn’t realize that his asking, “Did you get something for me?” Was really saying, “Did you think of me while you were gone?” It dawned on me that this was so, after he returned from Washington, D. C. with a handpicked, thoughtful gift for each and everyone of the family.

What kind of gift does Mom want? Hm, that depends on your mom. For me, it’d be something with essential oils, a book, or art supplies. Another great gift would be an updated Microsoft Word. Now, that’s just me. You’ll need to know your mom to make the gift meaningful.

So what are you sending to your mom? Is your mom no longer around? Find a lady who has spoken into your life and honor her. There’s always someone who you can find to shower with love. Don’t let your sorrow ruin the day. Use it to fill someone else’s day with love, and you’ll be surprised how much better the day will go for you as well.

Giving Time:

One of the most valuable gifts is the gift of time. For a mom, you may just want a morning away from the kids. It sounds terrible, but it’s true. Mom’s need time away, time with other women to connect. I remember my mom giving me that gift. She watched the kids for me while I was able to go grab a cup of coffee or tea with other moms who were a bit older and could encourage me because they’d been there.

As we raise our kids, they need time with us. My nineteen-year-old still wants to do things as a family. He’s willing to take off work if there’s a family event. We’ve done camping trips, theater, and eating out, but it doesn’t have to be expensive. Sometimes tagging along with my husband on a job becomes family time. We make a day out of it and go to the beach, see a movie afterward (okay, that got expensive, but the job he went to paid for Monsters, Inc.). A family night can be time together. I’ve written several blogs on how to do this. One is on family nights, another on connecting with them, and the last on spending time with your kids.

Our husbands need our time as well. I think that’s one reason why women often feel so stressed. We have so many people asking for our time and attention. One year, I created a booklet for my husband full of coupons that he could redeem. Some needed advanced notice, but they varied from a date out to a game of Scrabble after the kids were in bed.

Whether it’s for your kids, a young mom, or your husband, be creative and thoughtful.

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Gifting Service:

In the Twitter chat with Jenna, we discussed how to teach our kids to give. One of the big takeaways I had was that we need to teach our kids how to give by serving. This could be as simple as doing a chore for someone else. Think about it. As a mom wouldn’t you love it if someone did the dishes for you or cleaned the bathroom? My birthday present one year from my kids was when they cleaned the house for me while I was gone! It was so nice and appreciated.

Many towns at this time of the year have soup kitchens or other areas that a family can go and help in. One of my favorite memories with the three middle kids was four and half years ago. We went to San Francisco on a youth trip. We enjoyed sight-seeing, but after two days of viewing the town, we then ended up in the SOMA district helping in different ministries together. We sorted peaches for the food bank, served food at St. Anthony’s during the lunch rush, and handed out survival packets to homeless. All four of us returned different. To this day, the three of them will not pass a person begging on the street corner without giving out food if we have it. I’ve even seen them plan ahead and pick up something especially for that person!

Handmade gifts:

These are my personal favorite gifts. It shows the time and effort someone took to think specifically about me to make a gift. I have some of these hung on my Christmas tree as ornaments. Each year, my mom makes ornaments to celebrate the year. I’ve received hand knitted scarves, bath salts, and food. As a little girl, I remember the year we received doll clothes that Mom had made for my sister and me. The next year, Grandpa made us cradles for our dolls. Grandma and Great Grandma made the blankets, matress, and pillow to match the cradle.

doll I received that my mom made clothes for and the blanket my Great-grandma crocheted

What kind of handmade gifts can you or your child make? Think through the strengths of you and your child. Are you artistic? Do you love to bake? Can you carve? Then think through how your strengths can meet the need of someone else. I’ve given away portraits as gifts. I always love it when my sister-in-law makes a plate of goodies for us. My son made me a shelf in woodshop his freshman year. It still sits in my classroom as a nice display for nick-nacks. Homemade beauty products are simple to make. The web is full of recipes you can use. DIY natural is a site I found with many practical resources.

While considering meaningful gifts, make sure you consider the person. What does the recipent like or need? I’d love to hear your reactions. What gifts have you enjoyed receiving or giving?

Dragon Airways by Brian Rathbone:

Click on photo to find book on amazon

I first heard about Dragon Airways from Brian Rathbone’s Facebook page and immediately thought it was an addition to the Godsland series. Although, I was excited for it, I knew I had to finish the series before I could enjoy the book. However, when Dragon Airways went on sale a while back, Brian replied to one of my comments letting me know it is a stand alone. I eagerly picked it up.

From the first page, it held my attention. Emmet and Riette pulled at my heartstrings. The brother and sister care deeply for each other and are thrust into the middle of a Zjhon war. Their options of escape soon are narrowed down to a decrepit dragon and her groom and rider. Soon the reader is pulled into the intrigue of who is really the bad guy and how will Emmet and Riette stay ahead of the Zjhon. With fast-paced action, and wonderful character development, Dragon Airways is the perfect coming of age story for anyone ages twelve and up, or to be read outloud to any age. It will bring tears to the tender-hearted.

Dragon Airways is the perfect story for anyone ages 12 and up.

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Keeper by S Smith:

Click on the image to go to Keeper on amazon.

Keeper is book 4 of the Seed Saver series that I have discussed before. The story picks up with Lily and Arturo as they’ve found refuge in the rural, Carolina mountains. When the authorities discover the bike they used to arrive at the village, it puts a kink in their plans for leaving. Meanwhile, Clare and Dante are finishing their courses of the Garden Guardians in Canada. Upon graduation their host parents tell them they won’t return to their own home. Rose is sent to a foster home where Trinia has her eye on the girl. FRND classes takes up Rose’s time and fill her mind with propaganda from GRIM. When they all meet again, the survival of the Seed Savers is put in jeopardy.

This is a great read for anyone who loves the series, loves gardening and real food, and loves adventure. The fast-paced book is appropriate for ages twelve and older.

The Chronicle of the Three: Bloodline by Tabitha Caplinger

Click on the image to go to TCO3: Bloodline on amazon.

I had to look through my book list and my blog posts to see which books I had read and hadn’t already shared with you. To my surprise I discovered I haven’t mentioned this book, at least not in my blog.

About four years ago, my now nineteen-year-old son and I traveled 50 minutes one way to school every day. We listened to a ton of books. One of those was The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare. I enjoyed the idea of the plot line but several times we fast-forwarded love scenes. It opened up discussions between us on ethics and purity, but at the same time, I wondered what it would be like if there was a book with similar plot that would have been clean.

In the last several months, I discovered there is such a book. The Chronicle of the Three: Bloodline has all the intrigue, action, dueling, and romance that The Mortal Instruments had minus the swearing and sex! I was so excited that I read through the book and eagerly looked forward to book two. This week the advanced reader copy of book two, The Chronicle of the Three: Armor Bearer arrived in my inbox. If I had one more day of being sick and in bed, this would have come out. As it is, I’ll pull it out at lunch tomorrow.

Fellowship of Fantasy Perma-Free Titles:

One last collection for your gift-giving selection are a list of perma-free, clean fantasy books. Fellowship of Fantasy hosted a Facebook party this weekend highlighting books that will cost you nothing! That’s right. These are the best kind for your budget. They are all flinch-free fantasy. Check out the link to see the list.

Do you have favorite books for gift-giving? If so, please let me know.