Family Movie Night

I remember these as far back as fifth grade–around the same time I remember my first presidental election, Jimmy Carter vs Ronald Reagan. The one I remember most vividly was when my parents went to the library and checked out a film projector and a film. With our invited friends, we sat around the living room and watched Winnie the Pooh and Tiger. As I got married, movie nights shifted to Saturday nights. We’d still have friends over during our college years. The credits would roll and in the dark a pillow would be thrown, hence starting the traditional pillow fight. This custom continued through our kids’ high school years. Just this Friday night, we watched Captain America: Civil War. Instead of a pillow fight, a wrestling match broke out.

Family Night Food

Mom’s famous family night food was homemade pizza. She taught us kids how to make it. Her secret? Cheese. “You can never have too much cheese on pizza.”

Besides cheese, we’d load it up with hamburger, olives, and mushrooms. Another favorite family night food was to roast hot dogs and s’mores in the wood stove. We’d have a picnic or campout in the living room when the weather outside was less than desirable for camping.

Family Game Night

My sixth grade year, my family moved to Iowa in the middle of the school year. That meant we were there just in the nick of time for one of their worst winters! School was for three to four day weekends regularly for around a month. That gave us kids ample time to get in Mom’s way. The solution, which eventually became the problem, was to have the three of us sit around the stove in the living room wrapped up in blankets and play Monopoly. However, when you have a 12 year old, 9 year old, and a 17 year old playing Monopoly, soon there are arguments. Mom said later she was ready to get rid of the game. To this day, I still know there are ten stops between Go and Just Visiting Jail. There are ten spaces between each railroad. And the best way to win is to have St. James’ Place, Illinois Ave, and Baltic Ave all with hotels on them.

About fifteen years ago or so, we began having game days with some younger friends. They’d come over on Friday or Saturday nights or after church on Sunday. We’d play role-playing games like Star Wars or card games like Unexploded Cow (which you can download for free), or even board games like Settlers of Catan. As the kids grew up, they soon were joining us. Scrabble and Settler’s of Catan are still some of our favorite games. We’ve added Munchkin to the list, but only if there’s someone playing with us who knows all the rules. It’s easier that way.

Family Beach Night

Living on the Oregon Coast has influenced our activities as a family. Going to the beach is a viable option whenever we want or the weather permits. Sometimes even when the weather doesn’t permit! We’ve been to Cape Blanco with the wind blowing hard enough the boys are leaning at a 45% angle. We also enjoy finding the waves when they’re splashing and getting epic photos of it. It was on a calm, beautiful night that we walked the beach in April while I processed the news that my publisher was going out of business.

Our most recent trip to the beach was this past weekend. While my husband is adventurous and my kids have picked it up, I’m more level-headed. I have a distinct reverence for the water. I’ve been knocked around in the surf and have the scars on my chin to prove it. So, the usual scenario is for the kids and my husband to go traipsing off to the rocks and I stay and watch at a safe distance. Yesterday was different.

We followed the path around to a spot where the railing stopped and the cliffs became steps of solid rock heading down to the surf crashing on the final step. The family blithely ran for the water, while I took the safer route and longer route. I enjoyed finding a way where I wouldn’t have to climb much. Just as I reached a spot where I could see and enjoy their fun, I saw something from my nightmares!

I found myself in a beach house with two story high windows facing the surf. I looked out enjoying the ebb and flow. Without warning, a wave approached, one that would be larger than anything I could handle! The water kept building and growing until it crested on top of the house and crashed through the windows. Terror siezed my heart as I frantically swam trying to find a way to the surface. Then I awoke!

This reoccurring nightmare evolved over time to include first my husband and then my kids. Saturday afternoon, that style of wave approached–one that would be too big to outrun and that would soak my kids. I watched helpless as they were pummeled by not only the spray but also the wave. To my relief, the wave receeded and my sons stood back up smiles stretching their faces. “Did you see that?!” Adreneline surged and before long they were back waiting for another wave to crash in front of them. I enjoyed watching the surges and calling out warnings as they stood invincible to the spray. No other wave reached the same size and impact as that first one. After an hour, we finally called it quits and walked back to the car. I was the only dry person in the group.

Family nights are fun times to be together. It’s even better when your teenage son pleads to have one. What do you do as a family? Any special foods? I’d love to hear your ideas.

“Dad, will you sing Oh, Holy Night?” Mom asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Please, Gramps?” We pleaded.

“I don’t know the words.”

That was what Mom was waiting for. She produced from behind her back a cookie tin. “Here, Dad,” she said as she handed it to him.

With curiosity, he took it and opened it. Inside were several slips of typed paper. Gramps’ deep hearty laughed followed. Mom had typed up the words. Never again could he have the excuse that he didn’t know the words. He sang it every Christmas after that until 1999. In April of 2000, Gramps took his singing voice to go sing for Jesus in heaven. Every Christmas since when I hear Oh, Holy Night, I think of him. The first ten years or so after, I would break down and cry at least once in the season when I heard the song.

I thought I was past that stage until tonight. As I was at the art gallery, a man came in with one of the artists. As he waited for her, he sat down and began to sing, Oh, Holy Night. I paused in my steps and listened, a wistful look on my face. What a joy to hear a grandfatherly man singing Gramps Pat’s song.

What about you? Do you have any special song for the holidays? Any song you have to hear before it’s the season? Let me know in the comments.

The kids have grown up learning to sit and listen to adult conversations, and as they grew, they became part of that conversation. I used to read to them after dinner. We have met various characters who have become part of our family culture. I started out with biographies, and then moved on to stories the kids wanted to share with the family. The last book we read was D J MacHale’s Pendragon series. We only made it to book 9, and it took several years due to various interruptions. The reading gave way to conversations with the kids about their day or joking around. Some of my favorite memories right now are centered around our dinner table and laughing with my children.

Our dinner table was a place to teach our kids’ friends how to interact with a family. Many of their friends had never sat down at a table except maybe at Christmas or Thanksgiving. They learned how to ask for food to be passed and how to ask to be excused from the table.

It was around the dinner table that our kids learned how to interact with adults–not just parents. We have entertained missionaries from around the world: Japan, Brazil, New Zealand, Ethiopia, and more. Besides the missionaries who visited from church, we have had numerous visitors. These aren’t just our friends that we know and love. Our visitors are travelers along Highway 101. We have enjoyed getting to know people from Seattle, Colorado, Eugene, New Hampshire, Boston, New York, England, France, Bolivia, Spain, Germany, Palestine and countless more. Many are college age students who are hiking or biking their way across a part of the United States. We have sat and chatted about politics, their impressions of the US, and anything that came to mind. After dinner we have jammed adding a violin and drums to our guest’s saxophone. We enjoyed target practice once. Numerous times, we entertained our visitors with fire dancing, but only once did our guest join the show.

Our kids have also enjoyed game nights around the table. When they were little, we had game day on Sunday afternoons. We played Star Wars role playing. As they grew older, we moved on to Scrabble, Uno, and Munchkin. The group of friends have changed, but the table has stayed the same. We sit down talk with one another across the table, having fun and enjoying each others’ company.

Was it easy to keep up this tradition of the dining room table? No. We struggled. There were some weeks where we didn’t sit down often at the table, but we made it a priority. In so doing, we have created memories and taught our children the value of face to face communication. One hard and fast rule has always been, “No electronic devices at the table.” The only exception was if we were reading a book online such as The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,or if we have some quiet classical music playing while we eat. The kids tried to push this rule only a couple of times. They never got far.

As a parent, I believe this one tradition has been very valuable. We got to know our kids. We were able to feel the pulse of their world. When friends would come over, we got to know them as well.  Our table with young children resembled Duskya and Cerulean’s in Dragon’s Heir:

The meal contained light banter and the general commotion of any meal with two little children.

Once we had teenagers, it reflected Duskya and Cerulean’s table in Dragon’s Cure:

The evening meal followed with much talking and friendly banter. The clean up continued in the same vein.

Both of these scenes although summed up with just a sentence or two reflect the many memories around our dining room table with our children. So, if you have the opportunity to create a family tradition, I would suggest reinstating the family dining room table. Use it for more than just a fancy tablecloth (although my kids learned how to deal with a fancy meal as well at our table). Let your table become a place of laughter, stories, and memories.