Background

I’m working my way through the book of Ephesians in my quiet time. A week ago, I came upon these verses in chapter five.

Those verses really hit home to me. What a way of looking at life and what we read, or let our children read.

Content of Young Adult Books

If you look at young adult books and even middle grade you’ll find that they are filled with potty-humor. Jokes about bodily functions fill middle grade books, while young adult books often have explicit kissing, necking, fondling, and even sex scenes. This content is exactly what the Apostle Paul tells us not have even named among us.

At the same time, young adult books can have some of the best plots and writing around. They captivate both young and old readers. I can’t count the amount of adults who’ve said they prefer reading young adult books to adult books.

Do we throw the baby out with the bath?

The old saying don’t throw the baby out with the bath comes in play here. Think on it, do you tell your children they can’t read any young adult books? Most kids will immediately go grab more young adult books just because you said, ‘no’. So, instead of issuing a moritorium on young adult books, start by reading what your child’s reading. We did this when Harry Potter came out. Our kids wanted to read them, but we’d heard the hub-bub from the conservative circles. With that in mind, we told them they couldn’t read the books until they had a discussion with us. I then spent a night and read book three. Don’t ask me why I started with book three and not one, but that’s where I started. Nevertheless, I was able to gain my own understanding of the book before discussing it with our kids.

Training your child

Besides reading what you’re kids are reading, you can also train them to decipher what’s good and what’s not. Many people will say kids don’t know the difference. I beg to differ. I’ve seen too many junior high and high school students watch as an adult walks by or is in the room and turn to their friends and say, “turn off that music, it’s not school appropriate”. Kids know what’s okay and what’s not. Let’s just take that a step further.

Train your children to know this litmus test:

• Is it clean?

Does the book have immorality? That’s a big word that refers to any sexual sins. The Greek word is where we get the word “pornography” from. In our current day and age, that’s one area that is rampantly available not only to adults but also to our kids.

• Is it pure?

Purity is another area that the world says is old-fashioned. They mock those who are ‘goody-two-shoes’. In fact, that was one negative review of the Dragon Courage series, my characters were too good. I wanted to give examples to kids of what a good person looks like.

• Does it praise greed?

Think of the classic Garfield comic strip; he hordes lasagna. Greed is more than just hording something; it’s the blatant desire for things you don’t have. When a character is willing to go to any means to get what he wants, that’s greed. Does a book have to be free of greed? No, but does it show greedy people in a good light? If so, then I’d say no.

• Do the characters speak foolishly?

This silly talk doesn’t mean the characters can’t joke around. However, it’s the idea that the characters are portraying themselves in a foolish manner because of their speech. In anime it’s the type of character that would be called ‘baka’ because of his words.

• Does it have crude joking?

Crude joking would include potty-humor as well as any form of joking that is off color.

Sources for Clean Young Adult Books

Even though you’ve taught your child the best way to rate a book, it’s still good to know there are resources out there that provide good wholesome books that your child and you can agree on and enjoy. Clean Indie Reads is one of those options. This site rates books on the same scale as movies and doesn’t allow anything over a PG-13 rating. Their fantasy sub-group is Fellowship of Fantasy. Their directory even has a listing of perma-free ebooks you can download right away. All you have to do is explore their menu. They’ll also be hosting a summer reading program for middle grade and young adult readers, and all the books on the list (80 so far) are all clean approved.

One final site to gain great books is from Realm Makers. I’ve just recently learned of them. One post mentioned that if “you love fantasy and sci-fi and love Jesus, then Realm Makers is for you”. They don’t have a book listing, but they do have a mobile bookstore. They also have a blog under the parent group Faith and Fantasy Alliance.

Most of the books listed on this site are from one of these three sources. A few of them are from my publisher days. When I was with Booktrope, Vox Dei was the faith-based site. I’ve kept in contact with those authors and share what they have coming out as well.

In my years of raising children, I learned to listen to my kids. Often my favorite books came from a teen saying, “Mom, you’ve got to read this!” Some of my favorite memories are reading books with my kids at the dinner table or listening to audiobooks together. A good source for clean audiobooks is Audiobook Edge Reader Discussion Group on Facebook. Cherish those moments together with your kids. Train them to be literary discerners. Do you have a way you deal with sorting through young adult books? I’d love to hear your ideas.

Four weeks ago, I sat in an auditorium listening to and singing the song The Stand. The place was packed with standing room only while 125 college students graduated and their parents, families, and friends watched. My heart flowed and overflowed with gratitude that my son had the opportunity to go to that school for the year. Little did I know that my world would come crashing down on me just six hours later. I wrote about it later that weekend.

It’s Okay to Cry

Thanks to Booktrope, I was able to publish my first books.

After hearing that my future was gone, I cried. I cried my heart out. It was a loss; I grieved. A year ago, I had been handed an amazing platform and opportunity to share my stories with the world. It was something I would not have done without the encouragement and help of others. Now, that help was being taken out from underneath me. It’s a rather heady feeling to see your book on a library shelf, to know you are a published author. I also grieved the loss of opportunity. How could I continue writing and helping pre-teens and teens without a publisher? That weekend, I watched as different authors grieved in their own ways–from ranting and raving, to eating chocolate or ice cream.

We all have our own way of coping with stress and loss. My first response is crying. I believe that it will help.

Realize You’re Not Alone

One of the worse things about troubling times is that we feel all alone. Just talk to any teenager who has lost a best friend or broken up with a girlfriend or boyfriend. It is the end of the world! No one else has ever been there. As adults, though, we feel the same way. We tend to hide behind a mask walking around as if everything is okay, instead of being open and honest about how we feel. When we open up, we may find we’re not the only one in pain.

“It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end… because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing… this shadow. Even darkness must pass.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers

Everyone has a shadow they must walk through. Just last week, on top of the hectic push to get all four of my books republished and figuring out this whole business of self-publishing, my shoulder began to flare up. A year and a half ago I had my right shoulder freeze up on me. The pain was excruciating. After four months, we were able to get it diagnosed as not only frozen shoulder but also a partially torn rotator cuff. This new flare up had me scared. I was ready to be irritable and begin complaining about the low grade pain. I went to church and saw a friend. Her eyes weren’t as alive as normal. I asked what was wrong and found she was having shoulder pain. However, her issue was worse than mine. She couldn’t move her arm! I sat and nodded as I understood exactly what she was talking about. I was able to give her some helpful advice, and the rest of the week, any time I wanted to complain about my shoulder, I thought of and prayed for my friend.

Be Humble

Humble Pie isn’t as tasty as this piece looks.

That experience last week, definitely gave me a bite of humble pie. I had to realize not only was I not alone, but my issues were not as big as others. This type of humility can lead to teach-ability. When the fairy tale turns dark, it’s because there is someone who cares who wants to help you through it. In The One Who Sees Me this person is called The Existing One. In my current work in progress, an Ancient Egypt story, he is called The One Who Is. You see, I believe there is a Creator who has your best interests at heart. He’ll help us through life’s ups and downs, and wants to teach us things. When we are humble, He can teach us what we need to learn.

It isn’t always just about us though. Sometimes, God wants to teach others through us! This can be the worst feeling. We have to go through the tough time so someone else can watch and learn. That also takes humility and surrender.

Trust God

A month ago as I stood singing The Stand, tears flowed freely down my face. They were in gratitude to the One who created it all. I had a full heart of thanksgiving. Yesterday at church, we sang The Stand. As I stood this time, again tears fell from my eyes and traced their way down my cheeks. These tears were tears of trust.

I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I’ll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours
~Joel Houston

Trust is one of those interesting things. It’s a conscious decision to let someone else take control. According to Google, it’s a “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something“. How does it work? The best I can say is to share a story of friend. He was going through a tough time. His wife had just had their fourth child, but some complications came up. She was incapable of taking care of any of their children. They moved back to the family property so his mother could help out. He didn’t have a job and wondered what was up. At the same time, he was reading one of my favorite books by Timothy Zahn, The Icarus Hunt. It’s a spaceship based who done it with many intricate plot twists. As my friend read, he often wondered what was going to happen. He was on the edge of his seat. There were times when he wondered if everything was really going to turn out okay. It was then that he paused. My friend personally knows Mr. Zahn. So, my friend said, “I know Tim would not write something that I couldn’t handle. I can trust that he’ll make everything right at the end.” That is the true definition of trust.

We, too, can trust. If we have a personal relationship with the Creator God, we can know He has our best interests at heart. He’ll write a happily ever after. It might not be in this lifetime, but it will come.

You see, our fairy tale doesn’t end here on earth. It goes on through eternity.

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What are you struggling with? If you feel comfortable sharing, I’d welcome your comments. Or, fill in the prayer request form: