One of the tough topics that’s discussed in Four Stars over Ardatz: Journeys is sexual assault. This unfortunately is too often left undiscussed, especially among those who claim Christ. I think by taking a verse that says: “it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of [evildoers] in secret.” (Eph 5:12) We’ve given power to abusers and assailants. 

I know when I finally allowed my brain to unlock a sliver of a memory, I felt shame and guilt–not because it’d happened, but because I’d lied my whole life! Yet, by bringing it out into the open, by sitting with my mom and working through a secondary outcome, and by lots of prayer and Bible study, I was able to be freed of the shame and fear that assault had left in its wake.  

By having characters go through these horrific events (off the page) and walking through the healing process, I hope to bring about conversations, to provide a voice for those who feel as if they have no voice, and provide hope that there is a better outcome than what they’ve faced so far. 

How do you help those who’ve faced this? Remember last week’s post about how to talk about tough topics? The same applies here. The main thing you can do is provide a loving, nonjudgmental ear for them to share when they feel ready. If you’re a partner to a survivor of abuse, realize that things that had been fine earlier may now not be alright. Be patient with them and show love without touch.

A book, and even movies, make the process seem easy and/or quick. But that is as far from the truth as possible. Even if the healing comes relatively quickly (over the course of a year or so), years later triggers can arise that give fear a hold again. 

By speaking about this tough topic, we can free survivors of the shame that accompanies sexual assault and abuse. We provide them freedom and lift a burden that is too heavy for them to carry alone. 

If you’re a survivor and have no one to talk to, feel free to reach out. If you know a survivor, feel free to share either Kristjan’s Rise or Paskal’s Hope with them as books that may help them see that there is hope. Good resources for healing are The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender and Lord, Heal My Hurts by Kay Arthur. If you have troubles finding any of these resources, reach out to me, I can help you find them.

Speaking about hard topics can leave us feeling heavy and weighed down, but remember the goal is to shine light in the midst of darkness. To turn our scars into weapons of light.

But the real issue is how to go about it and still have friends at the end. It’s a matter of either holding our tongue and then creating a false sense that life is ‘normal’ without problems or speaking and creating a haven where people feel comfortable around you. 

There are eight pointers for speaking out on hard topics.

Don’t Glorify It

If we focus on the issue and make it seem as if it’s the good, then we’ve not done anyone any favors. It’s what makes much of modern fantasy dark.

Don’t Pull the Problem Out of Perspective

Perspective matters. If you focus on the problem then there can be no hope left. Instead, acknowledge the issue but then show the way through. When we make the problem the focus, then we forget a way out.

Show Hope

This is very similar to #2. Shine the light! There is a way out.

Focus on the People Not the Problem

I’d say this is what Rebecca P. Minor did in her newest book, The Rending Cauldron. The characters were the main focus not their terrible situations that they were in (slavery, sexual assault.) So, when you’re talking about tough issues, remember there are real people going through it. Love them!

Love Those Who’ve Been There

When we talk about tough issues, there are people who’ve been there. Honor their struggle by loving them and not minimizing their experiences. 

Don’t Forget There Are Consequences

This often gets overlooked. We say you can just move forward, but there are consequences for what happens. Those who’ve been through trauma will have to live with that memory. Those who’ve walked a hard path due to their own decisions will need to heal and then still have consequences.

This is where we come in as Hopebringers. We walk with them through life together with whatever those consequences may be. Let them know they deserve a “Happily Ever After” even if there are daily reminders of what has happened.

Talk About the Issues

As I started with, it’s easy to remain silent. But when we start talking about death, suicide, human trafficking, abuse, assault, and many more, we allow others to acknowledge that they’ve been there. It helps them not feel alone. (Remember the “Me, too” movement?)

The same reviewer that said Kristjan’s Rise is more than a book, also said that it reminded her of a time in her life when she’d gone through something similar.

Don’t Gloss Over It

And lastly, don’t gloss over the issues. This is what was done when I was growing up. By not speaking of things, it made them taboo. But glossing over them does the same. It minimizes what someone has experienced.

May you have the courage to speak up about things others avoid. May you shine love, light, and hope into people’s lives this week.

How do we deal with that?

1. Know who you are:

If you know who you are, then you’ll know if you never feel drudgery. Or maybe you’re one who feels the dragging your feet to do something. This is the first step.

2. Know how you cope:

Once you know who you are, then know how you cope best. Are you someone who loves lists? Do you add things you’ve done that weren’t on the list just to be able to check it off? (Yes, I’ve done that!) Are you one who needs music? Are you motivated by incentives? (One year, my husband offered to purchase a whole new wardrobe if I could reach my weight goal. I worked for it, and got it!) 

3. Do what fits you best:

If you know how you work best, but don’t do it, then you’ll either fail or only accomplish it with dragging feet. So, do what works for you! Make your lists and check them off. (I’ve created a Trello board to track my goals for the year.) Turn your music up and get work done! Set up realistic incentives. Do what you need to adjust to the new normal. 

For me, last year, I reorganized my kitchen. I used Christmas money to purchase a hutch, a new drying rack, a knife block, a utensil organizer, and several lid and cutting board organizers. Once it was done, I realized that I had a kitchen that I could navigate in my new normal of a pinched nerve. 

I’d love to hear what your new beginning is and how you’re going to adjust to the new normal. Do you need accountability? I’m glad to check in with you. I even have a spot for authors to help with that. 

Whatever it is, may your new beginning be shrouded in blessings.

But…

Once we’re aware, we then have an option of how to handle it. Last week we talked about remembering the times we’ve made it through. Did it help you? I hope so.

One way to help you remember is journalling. You can write down the events that happen and then go back and read them. But there’s another form of journalling as well.

This is what a chat group called writing for yourself. It’s the writing to understand where you’re at right now. What you’re thinking about a topic, or how you’re feeling. 

This type of journalling can help the mind games by giving you a glimpse into your thoughts. You can see if you’re not thinking right. You can understand what’s going on.

This week, when you find yourself uptight, frustrated, or just plain out of sorts, sit down with some paper or your note app or even a word processor and journal what’s going on.

I’m reminded of how the Rittider put on their armor as they go about their day. Or how Carryl made sure the dragons and riders had armor to fight against the turquoise dragon rider.

Unfortunately, our armor isn’t as cool looking as a leather breastplate. It’s moreso a way of life, a decision each morning as we wake up to gird up our mind to be ready for the attacks that will come that day.

How can we do that? Our first step is remembering.

This week, I was given some shocking news. The position I thought I was going to move into was given to someone else. My current teaching position is up in the air as I wait on insurance to decide on long-term disability. I began to panic. For the past three years, my income has sustained the household. 

At the same time, I knew I’d heard the invitation to come risk with God and pivot in my work focus. But how was that possible?

As I tried to grapple with all of this, I reminded myself that God has always provided. Always! But it took a conscious effort to remind myself.

Mairead goes through this as well in Divided. As she’s taking the crown, she must swear in her cannonsea, or captain of the royal guard.

“Kyeth, Rittider of Muintir, do you pledge your life to Mairead, Queen of Muintir?”

“Aye.” Kyeth blinked back tears, the emotion almost undoing Mairead’s resolve not to cry. “My blade belongs to my queen. My will is hers to command, and my life will be spent in exchange for hers. This I vow with Jeeah as my witness.” He paused before his voice rang out clear and strong: “Chay la Jeeah.”

Mairead fought for control. How could she do this? Lugh squeezed her shoulder, and she remembered Jeeah. Taking a deep breath, she stated the words she’d memorized at the jiddee’adar’s prompting. 

Our daily battles might not be as big as facing an evil mage, but our enemy is just as determined. The mind games are real. Will you remember how you’ve come through hard times in the past? Remember that you did get through them. That bad times pass, even if it feels like they won’t.

What memory do you need to recall? I’d love to hear how you got through a bad time–if you feel comfortable sharing.

Resolutions only make a difference if you know you can keep them. A word for the year is only as good as the person with insight into the new year. And really, will your circumstances change just because the year on our date changes?

I’ve been there and done that, but this year, I’m instead looking to the one who holds time in his hands. The one who filters every heartache, hardship, and happiness through his fingers. And like in 2021, I’m reaching my hand up to Daddy’s and asking him to hold me through this new year.

A song that has been dear to my hear this week is this one. I woke up yesterday morning instead of singing “He will hold me fast” I had the words, “He will hold my hand” going through my mind.

Not sure what I meant by 2021 and holding Daddy’s hand? You can check out my piece “Daddy’s Girl” in Finding God in Anime: vol 2. (Just click the image).

So, here’s an excerpt from the early section of the book.

A frosty morning

When Ruskya and Kyn exited the abode the next morning, a heavy fog hung in the air so that the top of the canyon could not be seen. A thick layer of frost crunched under their feet. Each blade of grass seemed to be enlarged three times or more with tiny hairlike particles; it was as if each flake of ice built on the next to create miniature castles.

The riders went about their normal morning chores and training, but over it all hung an air of anticipation for the time when Ruskya would go to Caravan Canyon to meet with Kyle and the woman who wanted to be a dragon rider. Duskya had a bad feeling about the whole thing and tried to talk her brother out of going, but Ruskya was adamant. She opted to follow him with their mental link. Glendyn had decided that he and Kyn would wait at Meredyth’s abode. Her place was the closest to Caravan Canyon they could get without freezing or drawing unnecessary attention. They arrived just before the midday meal.

Meredyth greeted them with hugs. When she heard that Ruskya couldn’t stay but needed to go to Caravan Canyon to meet up with Kyle, she quickly set about making a snack and fixing tea that she poured into a container wrapped with skins to keep it warm. Ruskya thanked her and headed back out into the cold.

The fog had lifted, but still hung from the sky as low clouds. The frost clung to the sagebrush and grass, but the slightest wind would create a small blizzard. The cold sucked the breath away from the young rider, and he drew his furs tighter. He was glad his ma had fixed him some of her tea. He had tucked it and the snack she had given him away under his cloak where they would stay out of the cold.

Ruskya made it to Caravan Canyon in good time. He looked around for the others, but didn’t see them. He wasn’t sure if he was early or not. He waited a few minutes and then heard some voices coming up the canyon toward him. He walked toward them and found Kyle and the woman just arriving from Woolpren.

“You made it here. Good,” Kyle remarked. “I wasn’t sure if you would when I didn’t see you in Woolpren.”

“You said to meet here at the canyon,” Ruskya replied, “so that is what I did. I haven’t been here long.”

“So, where is this dragon rider of yours?” the woman inquired.

“I don’t know,” Kyle said, pulling the hood of his cloak closer around his face, while looking around as if the rider would materialize out of thin air. “He said to be here. He should be here.”

A Dragon Rider Appears

Ruskya decided to watch his companions for signs of anything amiss. Neither of them seemed to have picked up on the presence further out of the canyon. He figured that if he watched Carryl and took his cues from her, he would appear normal. A few minutes later, he noticed a sparkling frost fall upon the edge of the canyon behind them. Ruskya repositioned himself so that he could watch that side of the canyon without appearing to do so. Carryl noticed the shift and looked around. Her sharp eyes picked out the frost shift, also.

“Is someone coming?” she asked.

“Where?” Kyle asked, looking back the way he had come into the canyon.

“I don’t know,” Ruskya answered truthfully. He didn’t know if there was someone with the dragon.

An uneasy silence hung over the group as they watched around the canyon. Ruskya’s dragon senses saw the person first and flared away immediately; this was someone who would recognize dragon senses being used on him. Ruskya knew it was a man and that he was strong. He seemed different from Glendyn or any other rider Ruskya had met or felt. He immediately moved to guard his thoughts and his dragon senses.

“What was that?” Glendyn asked.

“It’s the rider,” Ruskya carefully called. “Do you think he can hear this?”

“No, Ruskya,” Wyeth answered. “No matter how strong, another rider cannot hear a dragon’s communications with his rider. Talk only to me. Glendyn can still watch through your thoughts.”

“Okay,” Ruskya answered shakily.

“Courage, young one,” Wyeth called. With his dragon’s words, Ruskya felt strength return to him as if he had just received dragon courage breathed on him.

“There,” Carryl whispered, “there’s a person coming down the ridge.”

“Where?” Kyle demanded, sounding loud compared to Carryl’s whisper.

Ruskya noticed the look of offense that Carryl sent toward the other man. She almost held him in contempt.

Before she could say anything, Ruskya replied, “She’s right. He blends in with his brown and white outfit, but there is a man coming down.”

The look Carryl sent Ruskya was the exact opposite of what she had thought of Kyle, her green eyes searched him, looking for what he was made of.

“How can you tell it is a male?” she questioned.

Ruskya thought quickly; he had known it from the first contact he had. “I thought I saw his figure as he came around that small bend,” he said truthfully. The glimpse had been enough to confirm what he had known all along. Carryl nodded, satisfied, her hair bouncing like little springs.

They waited in anticipation for the next couple of minutes as the rider made his way down the canyon wall toward them. When he arrived, the rider paused before greeting his perspective riders. Even Kyle had the presence of mind to wait until he was addressed before talking.

Summary

The rider tests them and then when the sun’s all but set they await his decision.

Shocking Ending

The rider waited again. This time no one moved. The fog seemed to creep into their bones. Ruskya felt the touch on his mind again. His mind felt unclean after the rider moved on to the others. He wondered what the rider was searching for.

“I admit, there is only one more test,” the rider said, as the sound of large wings beat in the air.

“You did bring dragons with you,” Carryl said with awe in her voice. No sooner were the words out of her mouth, then an enormous turquoise dragon landed at the rider’s right side.

The dragon’s wings were larger than any Ruskya had ever seen, and the light of the torch made them glow in their iridescence. The dragon folded his wings, and Ruskya noticed the dark veins of blue streaking through the dragon. It reminded him of a large turquoise gemstone set into a cloak clasp or on a belt hook. There was something unnerving about this dragon. The dragon landed and Ruskya had barely taken in all of him, when Ruskya felt Wyeth’s scream of agony.

“Wyeth, are you okay?” he called urgently.

Before Wyeth could respond, Duskya called to him, “Ruskya, is everything okay?”

Ruskya had no time to reply to his twin, for the rider had stepped up to Kyle and with a roar, brought his hand back and slapped Kyle across the face.

“What were you thinking, you imbecile?”

Kyle went down onto his knees at the force and unexpectedness of it.

The rider drew back his hand and smote again. “How dare you bring a rider here!”

Get Dragon’s Future for free

Did you like what you read? You can download your own copy for free or purchase the paperback for a gift for someone who loves dragon books.

But there are other dragons in our lives. One in particular controls our time. If we’re not careful, it’ll commandeer our minutes and hours until we wonder what we did with our day!

This dragon loves to use camouflage. It disguises itself as social media, games, books, and even family. Do you see how this is a tricky dragon? It poses as good things!  

Even while writing this, the dragon attacked, and I discovered lost time in the void of social media.

To slay this dragon–yes, this is one that must die; there’s no saving it–you must be super conscientious about your choices. Don’t go on auto-pilot. Instead, be intentional in all you do. 

It may also help to remember the jar, rocks, and sand illustration from last week. 

May you be successful in fighting the dragon of time.

So… (drum roll)

I have a bookstore!

Seen this way, and when I have all my books at an event, it definitely looks like a bookstore!

What does this mean? Several things.

First, you’ll see a change on book pages–either a normal button that says “Purchase from Author” or a “Purchase Ebook” or “Purchase Paperback”

Those grey buttons are direct purchase buttons. It’ll have a pop-up that will allow you to purchase right there.

The other exciting news is that I’ve created some special edition hardbacks complete with ribbon bookmark and endpages. I have the expanded Dragon Journal, which will be coming soon to my website, and the Myth Coast Adventures special edition hardback en route from England!

Not everything ships from England, and those that do, I’ve taken into consideration shipping costs as I priced the books. These are autographed–just not personalized–and have at least one page in color.

All paperbacks will ship from the US, so you won’t have to worry about that. I’m transitioning all paperbacks to autographed, but they aren’t there yet. I’ll be sure to let you know when the transition is done.

Another change is my merch store. It’s been up on my website, but I’ve not really advertised it. My latest in person events have had the stickers, and my last one had the t-shirts and mugs.

As you can see, there are three styles of hoodies and mugs:

Chay la Jeeah with the dragon
May your dragon fly true with a dragon
Reach Deep with Bigfoot

You have various colors to choose from for your hoodies and t-shirts. I’ve also added another t-shirt design:

Ask me how to live when your world is tilted
Then the Four Stars over Ardatz symbol
and then Chay la Jeeah at the bottom.

The stickers are in various sizes, so several of them I put two on one sheet. That means you get two for one price.

One design that’s not a dragon is the purple and pink kitty face. I designed that one Sunday afternoon, and it looks really cool as both a sticker and a mug.

Last but not least is the magnet with Braidyn and Turqueso from Dragon’s Heir. The saying is “The best times I spend are with a dragon by my side.” It’s available in a 3×3, 4×4, and 6×6 magnet.

You can access both stores via the menu bar at the top of every page. You can go to the “Purchase Directly” page or hover and allow the dropdown menu to show up and click on whichever store you want to go to.

I’m open to ideas to add to the stores, so if you have suggestions, send me a comment.

Our middle son loved water. Every time he saw it, he’d say “pu-ddle”, separating the word so that it sounded like two, and then he’d run toward the puddle! We’d have to drag him away.

Little Miss is no different. She loves puddles as well. In fact, in her daily walks with Papa Eck’ick, she knows where the puddles are and, if she has her boots on, she’s allowed to splash through them.

When summer came around, she disappointedly looked up at Papa and said, “Puddle gone.”

During Realm Makers this year, Allen Arnold taught on the seven-headed story beast. Seven creatures that will distract us in our walk. One of those was the siren. The siren looks beautiful and tries to woo us away from our walk, but what caught my attention was that sometimes what the siren uses can be good.

With his class, he gave us stickers and tattoos to remind us of the creature. The photo above is about two weeks after Realm Makers. I’d put the siren on my wrist to remind me to keep God first even above the shiny ‘pu-ddles’, but now as it’s even more degraded, it’s a reminder that something that can be good–see what it was like when I first received it? (the dragon is the example, and we’ll discuss him in another post)–can turn toxic if it’s placed above God. 

What are your ‘pu-ddles’ that distract you from your walk?