But the real issue is how to go about it and still have friends at the end. It’s a matter of either holding our tongue and then creating a false sense that life is ‘normal’ without problems or speaking and creating a haven where people feel comfortable around you. 

There are eight pointers for speaking out on hard topics.

Don’t Glorify It

If we focus on the issue and make it seem as if it’s the good, then we’ve not done anyone any favors. It’s what makes much of modern fantasy dark.

Don’t Pull the Problem Out of Perspective

Perspective matters. If you focus on the problem then there can be no hope left. Instead, acknowledge the issue but then show the way through. When we make the problem the focus, then we forget a way out.

Show Hope

This is very similar to #2. Shine the light! There is a way out.

Focus on the People Not the Problem

I’d say this is what Rebecca P. Minor did in her newest book, The Rending Cauldron. The characters were the main focus not their terrible situations that they were in (slavery, sexual assault.) So, when you’re talking about tough issues, remember there are real people going through it. Love them!

Love Those Who’ve Been There

When we talk about tough issues, there are people who’ve been there. Honor their struggle by loving them and not minimizing their experiences. 

Don’t Forget There Are Consequences

This often gets overlooked. We say you can just move forward, but there are consequences for what happens. Those who’ve been through trauma will have to live with that memory. Those who’ve walked a hard path due to their own decisions will need to heal and then still have consequences.

This is where we come in as Hopebringers. We walk with them through life together with whatever those consequences may be. Let them know they deserve a “Happily Ever After” even if there are daily reminders of what has happened.

Talk About the Issues

As I started with, it’s easy to remain silent. But when we start talking about death, suicide, human trafficking, abuse, assault, and many more, we allow others to acknowledge that they’ve been there. It helps them not feel alone. (Remember the “Me, too” movement?)

The same reviewer that said Kristjan’s Rise is more than a book, also said that it reminded her of a time in her life when she’d gone through something similar.

Don’t Gloss Over It

And lastly, don’t gloss over the issues. This is what was done when I was growing up. By not speaking of things, it made them taboo. But glossing over them does the same. It minimizes what someone has experienced.

May you have the courage to speak up about things others avoid. May you shine love, light, and hope into people’s lives this week.

Those women weren’t looking for hope. They were practical, going to put spices on the body for burial, but what they found was the greatest hope ever.

Now when I say hope, I’m not talking about the “I hope it won’t rain” type of hope. No, this is a hope that’s based in promises kept. A hope founded in faith—the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

~Hebrews 11:1 (ESV)

But how does Resurrection Sunday (or Easter) give us the greatest hope bringer?

Let’s back up three days. You see, those women I told you about in the beginning watched as the teacher they’d hoped was the chosen one was crucified—the Roman form of execution of a criminal. All their hopes came crashing to a halt as he died and was placed in a tomb.

Think about it. The best fantasy story ever—the chosen one wandering the country, feeding the multitudes, healing people, and even raising others from the dead. Then, everything comes skidding to a halt. Instead of the chosen one being placed on the throne, he’s treated as a criminal—and his followers are positive that they’re next!

They went into hiding, but the women still thought they’d give him a decent burial, and maybe even bury their dreams with him. Instead, they found the grave empty.

Mary came out of the tomb in tears, running into a man that she assumed was the gardener. Her plea pulls at the heart.

“Sir, if you tell me where you put him, I’ll take him.”

Can you hear the pain in that request? My loved one is dead, but now I don’t even have a grave to mourn at. Everything’s been taken from me. Let me find him, then I can mourn in peace.

The reply is just as poignant. I can hear it in the tone of a parent or a grandparent who kneels down to the level of a child, opening their arms and saying, “Oh, honey.” All Jesus does is call her by name.

Sorrow to Joy

What had been “sorrow upon sorrow” or “grief upon grief” as the Apostle Paul says, turned into a hope that would sustain believers through the centuries. A hope that turned even death backwards.

She would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.

~The LIon, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis

You see, the great and loving King of All gave his people a choice to do what he knew was best for them, but his people said, “We know what’s best.” In that moment, there was a great divide between the King and his people. He allowed them to go their own way, to spurn him. The consequences were severe—death, separation. Not just separation for a moment or a year or two, but eternal separation.

The consequences of going our own way

Death. From that moment on, all of creation groaned under that weight. There was no going back. As his people age, they feel the pull in their bones, in every ache and pain. Every funeral is a reminder that death is coming, a reminder that his people no longer can live forever.

And yet, the King didn’t leave them to wander on their own. He made a plan—a plan that was in place from “before the foundation of the earth.” The King sent his Son to take the punishment of his people upon himself.

So, yes, The Chosen One walked among his people and then died in their place. Most fantasy stories end there, but the Greatest Story of All doesn’t. This is how we have the greatest hope bringer of all.

The Chosen One rose again. Physically, corporally. He said, “See my hands. Touch my wounds. It is I.” And by rising again, he did away with the sting of death. No more will death have the final word.

And so, on this Resurrection Sunday, may we proclaim hope. May we seek to know the greatest hope bringer, and may our faith be assured.

But…

Once we’re aware, we then have an option of how to handle it. Last week we talked about remembering the times we’ve made it through. Did it help you? I hope so.

One way to help you remember is journalling. You can write down the events that happen and then go back and read them. But there’s another form of journalling as well.

This is what a chat group called writing for yourself. It’s the writing to understand where you’re at right now. What you’re thinking about a topic, or how you’re feeling. 

This type of journalling can help the mind games by giving you a glimpse into your thoughts. You can see if you’re not thinking right. You can understand what’s going on.

This week, when you find yourself uptight, frustrated, or just plain out of sorts, sit down with some paper or your note app or even a word processor and journal what’s going on.

I’m reminded of how the Rittider put on their armor as they go about their day. Or how Carryl made sure the dragons and riders had armor to fight against the turquoise dragon rider.

Unfortunately, our armor isn’t as cool looking as a leather breastplate. It’s moreso a way of life, a decision each morning as we wake up to gird up our mind to be ready for the attacks that will come that day.

How can we do that? Our first step is remembering.

This week, I was given some shocking news. The position I thought I was going to move into was given to someone else. My current teaching position is up in the air as I wait on insurance to decide on long-term disability. I began to panic. For the past three years, my income has sustained the household. 

At the same time, I knew I’d heard the invitation to come risk with God and pivot in my work focus. But how was that possible?

As I tried to grapple with all of this, I reminded myself that God has always provided. Always! But it took a conscious effort to remind myself.

Mairead goes through this as well in Divided. As she’s taking the crown, she must swear in her cannonsea, or captain of the royal guard.

“Kyeth, Rittider of Muintir, do you pledge your life to Mairead, Queen of Muintir?”

“Aye.” Kyeth blinked back tears, the emotion almost undoing Mairead’s resolve not to cry. “My blade belongs to my queen. My will is hers to command, and my life will be spent in exchange for hers. This I vow with Jeeah as my witness.” He paused before his voice rang out clear and strong: “Chay la Jeeah.”

Mairead fought for control. How could she do this? Lugh squeezed her shoulder, and she remembered Jeeah. Taking a deep breath, she stated the words she’d memorized at the jiddee’adar’s prompting. 

Our daily battles might not be as big as facing an evil mage, but our enemy is just as determined. The mind games are real. Will you remember how you’ve come through hard times in the past? Remember that you did get through them. That bad times pass, even if it feels like they won’t.

What memory do you need to recall? I’d love to hear how you got through a bad time–if you feel comfortable sharing.

That’s not what I have in mind. I’m talking about the mind games we play with ourselves on a daily basis.

Mind Games We Play

These are the ways we convince ourselves:

• our life is great–or not.
• the pain’s not too bad–or it’s terrible.
• others have better friends than me–or not.
• other kids behave like angels while mine are hellions–or not.

Focus is the Key

I’m coming to understand Lysander from Divided more and more. I never wanted to relate to an antagonist–someone who’s willing to do anything to get his end goal, even if it means hurting others. But as I’m coming up on two years of living with nerve pain, it’s starting to make more and more sense.

Yet, even Lysander had a choice, as do you and I.

He sighed and closed his eyes. “You have no idea how wonderful it is to not feel a thing. No pain, no aches, not even discomfort.” He opened his eyes. “Thank you, Mairead. I don’t deserve this.”

“Aye, you do. No one should live in pain.”

“Tell that to Jeeah.” He twisted the name as if it left a sour taste.

Her power receded as if recoiling, pulling back into herself.

“Why do you say that?”

He snorted. “He’s the only one capable of providing relief, and look at me. Every step, all I know is pain. Either I did something terrible to deserve this, or he has no feelings, doesn’t care a wit about what happens to me.”

“Nay, that can’t be. Jeeah cares.”

“Then why?” He lifted his chin. “Why doesn’t he show me he cares?”

She had no answer for that, but the empty space where a reply should have been made it feel like she’d committed a betrayal. She’d felt Jeeah’s nearness, his comfort. Why hadn’t Lysander?

Lysander chose to focus on his pain instead of on the solace Mairead found in Jeeah.

Your Mind Games

Your mind games might not be pain. They may be about your life circumstances, your family, or even friends. Whatever it is, know it is possible to win these mind games. We’ll dive in more next week.

Resolutions only make a difference if you know you can keep them. A word for the year is only as good as the person with insight into the new year. And really, will your circumstances change just because the year on our date changes?

I’ve been there and done that, but this year, I’m instead looking to the one who holds time in his hands. The one who filters every heartache, hardship, and happiness through his fingers. And like in 2021, I’m reaching my hand up to Daddy’s and asking him to hold me through this new year.

A song that has been dear to my hear this week is this one. I woke up yesterday morning instead of singing “He will hold me fast” I had the words, “He will hold my hand” going through my mind.

Not sure what I meant by 2021 and holding Daddy’s hand? You can check out my piece “Daddy’s Girl” in Finding God in Anime: vol 2. (Just click the image).

But there are other dragons in our lives. One in particular controls our time. If we’re not careful, it’ll commandeer our minutes and hours until we wonder what we did with our day!

This dragon loves to use camouflage. It disguises itself as social media, games, books, and even family. Do you see how this is a tricky dragon? It poses as good things!  

Even while writing this, the dragon attacked, and I discovered lost time in the void of social media.

To slay this dragon–yes, this is one that must die; there’s no saving it–you must be super conscientious about your choices. Don’t go on auto-pilot. Instead, be intentional in all you do. 

It may also help to remember the jar, rocks, and sand illustration from last week. 

May you be successful in fighting the dragon of time.

Sound familiar? 

What if I told you there’s a way to not be exhausted and berating yourself?

Time has a way of controlling us, but we need to control it. Easier said than done; I know. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt.

Object Lesson

One of the ways we explain to kids about time is with a jar, various sized rocks, and sand. The teacher’s already made sure that all of it can fit in the jar. Then the instructor tells the kids to put it all in the jar. 

Inevitably the students can’t get it all in. They start with the sand and then work their way up. After the time’s up, the teacher explains by doing.

We empty the jar out again. Then we pick up the largest rock and set it in the jar, then the next largest, working our way down to being able to pour in the sand and allow it to fill in the gaps.

We then explain that the jar is our day or the 24 hours given to us. The rocks and sand are the things we could do with our day. By starting with what’s important, and then filling in with the least important, we can actually be content at the end of the day.

In Real Life

This played itself out last week. I normally schedule my blogs and newsletters over the weekend, using my freer time to write, but as I’d mentioned before, my youngest son got married last weekend. And I forgot about a writing publicly altogether until Tuesday (when my newsletter usually goes out).

I placed my biggest rock in the jar–family, wedding, extended family–and let the other things fill in–school, writing, getting Bonded Crowns ready for the Kickstarter. Although the email to you didn’t get written, I wasn’t stressed out about it.

What About You?

As you go about your busy week, think of your priorities. Schedule those in first, and then fill in with the non-essentials. Each week that might change. Like this week–I’m back to writing you.

Let the stress ebb away as you intentionally focus on what’s important.

My husband loves to tell the story of what happened January of 2021. He and my daughter went to a park known for its waterfalls.

The problem was that Little Miss’s mom was 8 1/2 months pregnant. So, she wasn’t wanting to do a ton of walking but was interested in getting some maternity images at the park. 

Well, she was given the map, and that’s where things went wrong. They were trying to get back to the car but not having any success. Finally, my husband asked someone they passed, who directed them back to the bridge that my daughter had vehemently denied was the right way. 

Have you ever had that problem? 

Not able to read a map? Or you thought you were going the right way, only to discover it was the opposite of what you needed?

In our walk of life, we need a map as well. We need someone to guide and direct us. In fantasy, that person is called the sage. Often it’s a wise wizard–Gandalf in Lord of the Rings. Or it can be an ordinary person who knows more about life–Professor Greenbloom in The Dragon Rider or Professor Dumbledor in Harry Potter.

The question is: is your sage leading you correctly? If not, you might want to hand the map off to someone who can actually understand it and guide you where you need to go.

Our middle son loved water. Every time he saw it, he’d say “pu-ddle”, separating the word so that it sounded like two, and then he’d run toward the puddle! We’d have to drag him away.

Little Miss is no different. She loves puddles as well. In fact, in her daily walks with Papa Eck’ick, she knows where the puddles are and, if she has her boots on, she’s allowed to splash through them.

When summer came around, she disappointedly looked up at Papa and said, “Puddle gone.”

During Realm Makers this year, Allen Arnold taught on the seven-headed story beast. Seven creatures that will distract us in our walk. One of those was the siren. The siren looks beautiful and tries to woo us away from our walk, but what caught my attention was that sometimes what the siren uses can be good.

With his class, he gave us stickers and tattoos to remind us of the creature. The photo above is about two weeks after Realm Makers. I’d put the siren on my wrist to remind me to keep God first even above the shiny ‘pu-ddles’, but now as it’s even more degraded, it’s a reminder that something that can be good–see what it was like when I first received it? (the dragon is the example, and we’ll discuss him in another post)–can turn toxic if it’s placed above God. 

What are your ‘pu-ddles’ that distract you from your walk?