But…

Once we’re aware, we then have an option of how to handle it. Last week we talked about remembering the times we’ve made it through. Did it help you? I hope so.

One way to help you remember is journalling. You can write down the events that happen and then go back and read them. But there’s another form of journalling as well.

This is what a chat group called writing for yourself. It’s the writing to understand where you’re at right now. What you’re thinking about a topic, or how you’re feeling. 

This type of journalling can help the mind games by giving you a glimpse into your thoughts. You can see if you’re not thinking right. You can understand what’s going on.

This week, when you find yourself uptight, frustrated, or just plain out of sorts, sit down with some paper or your note app or even a word processor and journal what’s going on.

I’m reminded of how the Rittider put on their armor as they go about their day. Or how Carryl made sure the dragons and riders had armor to fight against the turquoise dragon rider.

Unfortunately, our armor isn’t as cool looking as a leather breastplate. It’s moreso a way of life, a decision each morning as we wake up to gird up our mind to be ready for the attacks that will come that day.

How can we do that? Our first step is remembering.

This week, I was given some shocking news. The position I thought I was going to move into was given to someone else. My current teaching position is up in the air as I wait on insurance to decide on long-term disability. I began to panic. For the past three years, my income has sustained the household. 

At the same time, I knew I’d heard the invitation to come risk with God and pivot in my work focus. But how was that possible?

As I tried to grapple with all of this, I reminded myself that God has always provided. Always! But it took a conscious effort to remind myself.

Mairead goes through this as well in Divided. As she’s taking the crown, she must swear in her cannonsea, or captain of the royal guard.

“Kyeth, Rittider of Muintir, do you pledge your life to Mairead, Queen of Muintir?”

“Aye.” Kyeth blinked back tears, the emotion almost undoing Mairead’s resolve not to cry. “My blade belongs to my queen. My will is hers to command, and my life will be spent in exchange for hers. This I vow with Jeeah as my witness.” He paused before his voice rang out clear and strong: “Chay la Jeeah.”

Mairead fought for control. How could she do this? Lugh squeezed her shoulder, and she remembered Jeeah. Taking a deep breath, she stated the words she’d memorized at the jiddee’adar’s prompting. 

Our daily battles might not be as big as facing an evil mage, but our enemy is just as determined. The mind games are real. Will you remember how you’ve come through hard times in the past? Remember that you did get through them. That bad times pass, even if it feels like they won’t.

What memory do you need to recall? I’d love to hear how you got through a bad time–if you feel comfortable sharing.

That’s not what I have in mind. I’m talking about the mind games we play with ourselves on a daily basis.

Mind Games We Play

These are the ways we convince ourselves:

• our life is great–or not.
• the pain’s not too bad–or it’s terrible.
• others have better friends than me–or not.
• other kids behave like angels while mine are hellions–or not.

Focus is the Key

I’m coming to understand Lysander from Divided more and more. I never wanted to relate to an antagonist–someone who’s willing to do anything to get his end goal, even if it means hurting others. But as I’m coming up on two years of living with nerve pain, it’s starting to make more and more sense.

Yet, even Lysander had a choice, as do you and I.

He sighed and closed his eyes. “You have no idea how wonderful it is to not feel a thing. No pain, no aches, not even discomfort.” He opened his eyes. “Thank you, Mairead. I don’t deserve this.”

“Aye, you do. No one should live in pain.”

“Tell that to Jeeah.” He twisted the name as if it left a sour taste.

Her power receded as if recoiling, pulling back into herself.

“Why do you say that?”

He snorted. “He’s the only one capable of providing relief, and look at me. Every step, all I know is pain. Either I did something terrible to deserve this, or he has no feelings, doesn’t care a wit about what happens to me.”

“Nay, that can’t be. Jeeah cares.”

“Then why?” He lifted his chin. “Why doesn’t he show me he cares?”

She had no answer for that, but the empty space where a reply should have been made it feel like she’d committed a betrayal. She’d felt Jeeah’s nearness, his comfort. Why hadn’t Lysander?

Lysander chose to focus on his pain instead of on the solace Mairead found in Jeeah.

Your Mind Games

Your mind games might not be pain. They may be about your life circumstances, your family, or even friends. Whatever it is, know it is possible to win these mind games. We’ll dive in more next week.