Graduations and Dragon Courage

Kandi J Wyatt — Mon, 01 Jun 2015 06:00:54 +0000

Well, as the mind of a mother may do, when I wrote my last post Which Road Will They Take I forgot to include some added information. So, I decided another post will do the job, and I think it works even better. As I watched my kids graduate and saw the emotions throughout the weekend unfold, I realized that what I incorporated into the Dragon Courage series happens in real life! We give children benchmarks when they are able to move from child to adult. This coming of age is important. They need it to see themselves as adults, and the parents need it to see how their children have grown up and matured. We give them more freedoms after they graduate. A graduation ceremony creates a point in time for the parent/child relationship to change and mature. Without this ceremony, many parents would hold onto their children and not let them fly the nest, or as the case may be–push them out of the nest! The children would be constantly pushing for freedom and who knows when they would receive it.

This arbitrary point in time may be a bit soon for some children and not soon enough for others. My seventeen year old son is non-pulsed about the whole graduating business. It’s another day in a line of days in his life. Nothing spectacular. My nineteen year old daughter was quite ready for the event to happen. I’ve known a sixteen year old who was ready and did graduate and move on to college. She became the youngest certified paramedic in the state of Oregon. Each child is different, but each needs this marker in his or her life to say, “I am an adult”.

In the Dragon Courage series, coming of age is a big theme. My riders vary in ages from 25 in Dragon’s Future to 22 in Dragon’s Heir to 18 in Dragon’s Cure. The theme holds true–each of the dragon riders need a point in time to see him- or her-self as an adult. The final book takes this theme to the extreme and Kyn creates an event to help the young riders prove themselves capable of the responsibilities and privileges of a full-fledged rider.

So, whether you’re a dragon rider or a regular human being, at some point in time you’ll need to be able to say, “I’m an adult”. Is this a graduation ceremony, a youngling challenge, or just a parent giving you a gift and saying, “You’re a man now” or “You’re a woman now”? That depends on your background. If you’re a parent, consider what you can do to verify and confirm your child’s maturity. With our now twenty-one year old, my husband gave him a gift that our son would cherish. They had a talk about the responsibilities of manhood. Later, when our son messed up, my husband was able to refer back to the gift and the implications behind it. Our son came to us and agreed his actions were not in accord with an adult.

I can’t say that it will always go easy–this parenting thing–but it will have its rewards. For those of you who are old enough to be parents, but don’t have any kids of your own or their all grown up, consider acting as a parent to some young person. Take them under your wing and be a parent to him or her. You’ll find that it is just as rewarding.

Dragon Courage art by Kandi J Wyatt

Which Road Will They Take?

Kandi J Wyatt — Sun, 31 May 2015 15:56:34 +0000

What is it about a graduation that inspires so much emotions? There is the feeling of freedom, excitement, and relief that the students feel. Whereas parents are full of a mix of sadness, pride, and reflection. The fact that everyone can relate makes a graduation ceremony a special time. Young students look forward to the moment when they can toss their cap and be free of school. The graduates themselves are in the midst of the event, and parents and family members remember their own graduation.

Graduates look forward with trepidation and excitement to the new road set before them. They are like the traveler mentioned by Robert Frost in The Road Not Taken:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

They eagerly wonder what will it be like. Will their dreams come true? Where will they be in two, five, ten, even twenty years from now? They long for the freedom that is granted to them when they graduate. They are seen now as an adult–or almost. They get a new set of responsibilities and with it the ability to choose their own way. Which road will they select?

Parents, however, see the accomplishment. They know the work that went into the years of raising these children from baby, to toddler, to elementary age, to teenager. They see the potential stretched out before their child and long for him or her to make the right choices. Parents also realize that a commencement ceremony is in some ways an ending. No longer will their child sit at the dinner table on a regular basis. The late night chats will give way to facebook chats. The struggles of following the family rules will be exchanged for agonizing over how much money to loan them.

So, a graduation is a time of many emotions. The feelings rage war for a day or two and then life goes on. Years later, many may be able to say with Frost:

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

My first graduate on Saturday, May 30.

Graduation 2015 – Author Kandi J Wyatt

Graduations and Dragon Courage

Which Road Will They Take?